A
female
age
30-35,
*hantomchick53
writes:My boyfriend was supposed to be going to a gig with me. The band cancelled the tour due to illness. Instead promised we would go on a weekend getaway and hinted at engagement. We have been together 2 years and have two kids together and live together. He has applied for holidays at work but has now decided against us going on a holiday together and theres no talk about us going in the future.The other day he went fishing with buddies and said the following day we would have a date and I could choose whatever and we would go have a fun time basically well he rushed and carried on about needing to be home by a certain time and made me pay for our lunch date and complained about the food. Just wondering is any thing about any of this normal?? I'm upset about our holiday being cancelled by him. He has no excuse as to why we can't go he just keeps putting it off now
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female
reader, EFM94  +, writes (29 April 2016):
 Wow I'd be pissed if I were you. Fancy getting your hopes up for a holiday and then turning round and saying you're not going any more!
It sounds to me like he's a bit scared of this whole commitment by marriage thing. That's the only explanation for his rapid change of behaviour surely?
I'd put all my cards on the table... Tell him how you feel! You're in this relationship together so don't hold back your feelings for the worry of hurting his! It's only causing you to bottle all this up. Be straight with him, ask him why he changed his mind so drastically and ask him if there is planning of this relationship going any further. Everyone has a right to know where they stand!
A
male
reader, Militaryman1234  +, writes (29 April 2016):
 Listen some men are truly afaird of the concept of marriage. On a man's perspective i wouldnt chop this up to selfishness. I would rather look at it as a huge life changing milestone that some men have a hard time to fully jumping into. And if you have your mind set on marriage and he still might have some concerns that could be bad. Your getting your hopes up just to be let down. Excepting him to feel the same way you do. If you love him and feel he really loves you i would just focus on being happy and wait for you both to be on the same page on engagement.. no reason to throw away a good thing because you dont have a ring, :)
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue +, writes (29 April 2016):
 Hey, thats not cool of him. If it were me I'd pull him up. not have a rip roaring fight, but let him know exactly how disappointed you are and for what reasons. If he cant offer you a fair and reason as to why he is no longer interested in going on that weekend getaway, I'd be saying something like " Ok then honey, I guess you wont mind watching the kids then while me and *insert friend* go.
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A
female
reader, phantomchick53 +, writes (29 April 2016):
phantomchick53 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe keeps saying he wants to marry me and that it's gonna happen and talks about what sort of wedding we would have but not in great detail.. just says moneys an issue which with two small kids it kinda is ... but he can't even take me on this holiday we we're meant to be going on.. ring or no ring we we're meant to be going away and I was soo excited
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (29 April 2016):
 You've been living together, you have two kids..you're basically like a married couple without the legalities and you've given him everything that a man could want from a wife...without actually being his wife. He basically gets away scot-free without any responsibilities.
You're giving him everything without any commitment...a home to come back to when he's done enjoying with friends, food on the table, two kids, sex when he wants... and he on the other hand is free to do as he likes. He cancels holidays and takes you for granted because he knows that he can.
Forget the holiday, I'd be more worried that there's no talk of marriage. He seems like a big shirker.
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