A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is an extremely social person who loves making new friends (boys and girls alike). The problem is that he always seems to have a different girl that he texts all the time. He recently transferred to a new college and has told me that he has made new friends but he doesn't mention names or ever even talk about them! He has a 2 hour break between classes so I assume he's hanging out with people and I've noticed he's constantly texting this one girl. I hate feeling like I'm overreacting but i've had a couple of talks with him in the past about his flirting issues. He constantly tells me and shows me that he loves me because he always wants me to come over or to hang out with me and I do know that he'd never do anything with another girl but I don't like how he still craves attention from other girls via texting! How should I handle this current girl situation?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 September 2013):
 Can't improve on WiseOldE's post!
what's to handle
he says he loves you
he shows you he loves you
you trust him right?
so what's the issue?
A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (4 September 2013):
 Unless you have cause to believe he's cheating on you you shouldn't do anything. You're just jealous and insecure, and that's your problem, not his. So just do your best to be cool about it. It might not be easy, but just keep telling yourself that if you can't control your insecurity it might very well bring about what you fear the most... and drive him away.
He sounds like a great guy, so it's natural he's going to have a lot of female attention. Unfortunately you can't have it both ways.
You've got a good boyfriend. Be happy and don't stuff it up.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2013): I want you to go back and read this in your post:
"He constantly tells me and shows me that he loves me because he always wants me to come over or to hang out with me and I do know that he'd never do anything with another girl"
If you believe this, why do you think you have to handle
"this current girl situation?"
I think it is your "jealousy" and "insecurity" that you need to handle.
Your boyfriend is going to make friends, male or female. He's in college and meeting a lot of people.
There will be those among them that he contacts more frequently than others. He apparently isn't hiding anything, or you wouldn't know how often he is texting
this girl. She's probably a "text-addict." We all have one of those. He's always with you. So what's your problem?
You said in the post that you've already talked to him about it.
So, you want to control who he talks to and who he makes friends with?
Is it up to you to decide how much he messages people, when it doesn't take him away from you?
He knows that you aren't going to put up with the flirting.
He knows if he screws up, he's going to lose a really cool girlfriend that he really cares for. The other girl, may like him; but she also knows he's taken.
Try not to make yourself look like you don't trust him, or he'll just give up.
Don't make the other girl seem like a better girlfriend to him, than you do. That's how you handle it.
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