A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so, I have had this crush on one of my female friends,who i will refer 2 as SN, for months now, and i had only told 1 person im a bi female, my best friend. SN is one of my best friends 2 other best friends. So anyway, i got sick of keeping it from everyone, especialy SN, so i got my best friend, who i will refer to as CS from now on, to text SN that i had a crush on her but not to tell anyone. She replied to CS who txted me her reply, and it wasas i expected, she hated me 4 it. 4 the next two weeks at school. I had her constantly glaring at me and dissing me. One of our other ftiends, L managed 2 trick SN into telling her what it was. A few days later SN desided 2 spread the fact i am bi round the whole year for no reason. I got so angry i slapped her. We sorted it out with some of the teachers, SN's twin CN and L so now we are ok friends again. There is one problem, SN now thinks i dont have a crush on her any more when the reality is very different, i do, and it is hurting me. I love her so much. What can i do? Please.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 August 2014):
 I think you need to realize that having a crush on someone is something you DO NOT NEED to share, because when you DO DRAMA ensues.
YOU caused all this drama.
So you like a girl, who happens to be a friend. Well, you have 2 choices - tell her or drop it. Most people would drop it for the simple reason that they don't want to ruin a good friendship.
You however told a 3rd person who then told goodness knows who.. so drama....
And what happens? YOU end up looking like an idiot.
If you KNOW a girl you like is "straight" then you need to work on dropping the crush, because it's NOT going to happen. JUST because you LIKE someone in "that" way doesn't mean they OWE you to feel the same. Same would be if you liked a boy who prefers other boys.
Next time you crush on someone, accept that THEY might NOT feel the same way and DO NOT involve other people in these things. It will only make matters worse.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 August 2014):
 Let's approach it this way. We are going to have you imagine a situation.
Let's say there's this boy J, who is one of your friends, you like him as a friend but only as a friend because you are not attracted to him "that way."
Suppose that he gets his friend T to text you that J has a crush on you. You don't like J that way so you tell T to tell him that. Then T decides to blab it all over school that J has a crush on you, J and T have a falling out.
Things eventually get patched up. Things get back to normal. You still don't like J that way.
But suppose J is still secretly crushing on you. What would you tell him to do? How should J get over his crush on you?
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (1 August 2014):
 First of all you should realize that the person who spread the information can't be trusted with anything in future. I think it's best that you try not to be around your friend whom you have the crush on as much as before. Your crush will do nothing but grow and begin to interfere with your life if you continue to live in this fantasy. It will be hard obviously because she's your friend but it's a step that's necessary. I'm not sure I believe that your friend thinks that the crush has passed and is over, I think that perhaps it's what she's forcing herself into believing even though she may know that it doesn't work that way. Be careful about how you go about things from now on. Consider these various events a lesson learned. This crush won't last forever but you must bare in mind who can and can't be trusted from all of this. There's nothing you can do about the crush so I suggest that you just take what you can (lessons) from this situation and move on. Good luck OP.
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