A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been together with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. We were very loving and have alot of happy moments together(we do quarrel at times). Last month, we had an arguement. He suddenly feels that he is tight down by me and he want his own space and time to do his own things. We had a heart to heart talk last week. He says that 50% of him wants to have his own space and be single again. another 50% he feels that the relationship can be salvage. Please advise how should i go about saving this relationship. I love him alot and doesnt want to end this relationship. Thank You. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ck9779  +, writes (18 February 2011):
Give him some space it might do the both of you some good.
Make sure to voice what you will not put up with like if he wants a break to maybe sleep with someone else (it happened to a friend of mine).
A
female
reader, Pippa442 +, writes (18 February 2011):
Give him space. If he loves and misses you he will be back. If he doesn't he won't. The absolute hardest thing for me to deal with in this situation ( I am going through it right now) is that by giving him space he may make a unilateral decision based on what he thinks you want but not based on what you actually want. Make a decision before actually talking things through with you. I fear that is what will happen in my case. He thinks he knows what I want based on things I've said in the past, but hasn't really taken the time to ask me directly what I want.
It's a fine line...not too much pressure but you still want communication. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2011): Give him this space he wants but I would make it clear that you need some outcome at the end of the day. A committment or ending things. You do not want to drift on in a sort of vague situation that you feel unhappy with. It could be that he wants to end it but can not quite make that decision. So you may have to take the lead here and suggest a break, two months say, to take stock. After which time it is over or you both realise you want to be together. You can't hang on to someone who is drifting away - so if needs be, you must let him go.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (18 February 2011):
 Give him some space. Don't pressure him about relationship status for a while. That will help relieve the feeling of being tied down.
It's natural to question relationships every so often. I think that's what he's doing. It seems that 3 years is often the magic number where people feel they need to move the relationship forward or end it and move on. That's what he's doing.
If you want it to work, think about why. Then you just need to tell him why you think you two belong together. You can't make his decision for him, but you should at least let him know how you feel so that can have some influence on what he decides he wants.
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