A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am at a cross road with this affair I've been involved in for the last seven months. He's married to a woman who lives in another country. He's with her now until he returns home next week. He's a very well known in many religious circles. I love him but I have grown tired of feeling second to everything else. His family, his ministry and even at times all the many people who reach out to him while we are spending time together. We have had an abortion (about three months ago)and someone found out and is now blackmaling us. I have grown tired of the lie but I am deeply in love.I love waking up in his arms and I know that he loves me. He talks about the conflict he feels between his marriage and our relationship. I have tried to break it off at least a million times over the last three months since I discovered he's married. We spend more time together than he spends with his wife and we are happy when we are together. We can stay up for hours just laughing and talking about twenty years from now. He's asked me to move forward with my divorce but I haven't made that move as of yet. I am separated from my husband and my husband has moved in with his lover.I feel like I have to love him or hate him. There's no in between. I can't just walk away and I know the only way to ensure I never go back is to expose him and our relationship to the entire world. It would impact tens of thousands of his followers and maybe ruin his marriage, but I know it would ensure I would never go back. What should I do?
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abortion, affair, divorce, moved in Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNumber one, I don't see the importance of linking my previous question. Number two, I don't know how to link the previous question. Number three, what is dishonest in this post?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): i do not own this forum, but merely wanted you to be honest and to acknowledge that the aunts and uncles here are not fools. perhaps you should read my post again, where i apologised to the aunts and uncles here, but choose nevertheless to ask you to link your posts. what was so wrong in this?
we all make mistakes, but when we continue to make the same mistakes over and over again, cry about our actions yet fail to acknowledge that actions and consequences are linked, we continuously ask for help yet continue to behave in the same manner, how can you expect to change your ways. what is insanity......doing the same things over and over again, yet expecting different results. please do not use the Lord's name in vain. it doesn't warrant it here. we can all use religion for our own selfish deeds and we can explain away our lives by selectively chosing to bring HIM into the discussion. Lets not stoop so low now and let us leave the Lord's name out of this. I think we have crucified him enough already.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): i am not going to get into a war of words with you. if you really do want to be seen as honest then merely link your previous post and let the aunts and uncles here get the full picture of your situation. it will provide clarity so that you do not have to repeat yourself (again and again) and it may just help you. after all this site should be based on honesty. that is all i am saying. so, lets start by being upfront, transparent and honest....then you will get more respect and assistance. if you hide and give half of the truth, then you are only hurting yourself and this would not be fair to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUmm, seriously you have a lot of nerve. You sit so high on that perch and make claims that are not at all true. Yes, I posted about two months ago and did end my relationship previously, but started seeing him again around Memorial Day. Never was I ever rude, that would make you a liar (correct spelling) and I apologize I failed to realize you own this forum. Sometimes people make bad decisions and aside from Jesus, no one has ever been perfect. No one is using church money . . .I work and make a very good living legally.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): you posted here previously and you did not like the advice you were given. Maybe just to be honest, (to us aunts and uncles) you should link your previous question here (i think you may have had 32(??) responses. you have been rude to us previously and you have condoned your affair with this man of the clothe. you have made excuses for this man's behaviour and you selectively chose to berate us, me especially, for condemning your affair and the manner in which your married man is conducting his affairs with the church. i firmly believe that you are not a honest person, just like your minister and you are just using the aunts here. you will not change your ways and you have no desire to change. both you and your married preacher have no moral, no moral convictions and are lieing and cheating otns of people. i am sure he (and you ) are still enjoying the thithes all his followers are "investing" in his ministry. you both are roughes, and i am not talking only of the monetary value.please do not disrespect us by posting this sorry story. what are you , a sucker for punishment. please have the decency to link this post to your previous one and give the wunts and uncles here a proper view of your affair. please have some respect for us, after all, some of us have excellent memories and know of your married affair predictament very well. the readers will be shocked to read your story. to everyone else, i am sorry to be rude, but felt that by the anonymous female poster linking her tales you all should get the true picture here. i believe we deserve to know the entire truth of this situation and i believe that we should not have the wool pulled over us. apologies if i am brutal in my response but i believe we need honestly in this forum.
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A
female
reader, Sexy cat +, writes (28 June 2009):
I don't really knowq about this why don't u try talking about it with him and ask ur most-trust-worthy-friend(s).Hope this helps good luck
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (28 June 2009):
 How do you feel about being in a situation where getting an abortion was the idea of choice? He's married and a religious leader, who's behavior can affect 10,000+ people. Do you see how this "on the face" is not okay? He's not being proper within his position, in his marriage, and with you. What makes you think this pattern would change? Start looking at the situation as a whole, and ask yourself, what makes you any different than all these people who's lives this situation is possibly going to affect? I'd walk away.
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A
female
reader, girlwhoneedshelp  +, writes (28 June 2009):
 He is pushing you to forward your divorce yet he has made no move to get a divorce himself? That's very selfish don't you think? Does he plan on getting a divorce because it doesn't sound like it from what you have written.
I do sympathise with you, I really do but if this man does not plan on leaving his wife then how can he spend the next twenty years with you?
Either tell him to notify his wife of their divorce or leave him. As long as he is married there is no future for you. At the moment he has two women, he IS the cat who got the cream. Don't let him have all the power. You can walk away from this if you have to.
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