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How should I deal with my abusive ex?

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 June 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 4 June 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, *azzie1 writes:

I am so puzzled by my bf..I just finally came to my senses and broke up with him after 5yrs of Physical and mental abuse. I want to clarify that he still believes that at least he has never beat me literally but has tried to choke me 2 times in the past. It has been a year in a half that he hasn't done that bull crap..but I had forgave him over and over. Even in the beginning when I found out he cheated..I noticed that he wanted to be with me 24/7 and buy me everything that I needed whether it was helping me out with my bills..but the question that I have to ask is that he told me that he loves me like no other but then again disrespect's me and always has something to say about my oldest son that I treat him like a big baby..mind you he is 15 yrs. old. I finally came to my decision that I would rather be alone and not in bad company cuz whenever I'm around him I feel so much tension..is it possible that I might have low self-esteem for even allowing this man to do half the stuff he has done. I've always been very independent and with a strong character..how can I get back to the way I was. I mean I have my own place go to church have a great job but at times I catch myself thinking about him and wondering what he is doing..he also said that I should shape up and just marry him and accept him for who he is..this is so bizzarr..I really think he has done some type of voodoo on me cuz just typing this is getting me sick to my stomach..please help!

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (4 June 2010):

YouWish agony auntNo, you're used to him. That's why you think of him. He's the FAMILIAR, even though he's got serious issues. A breakup is tough on people, that people would even be willing to go back to the abusive because it's what they know.

You need to move FORWARD, not back. Your kid is 15, so do on a dating website or, if you go to church, join a single's group and open your heart to someone new, who will be a lot more gentle with you, body and soul.

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