A
male
age
36-40,
*he Village Vagrant
writes:What I'm wondering is how I should approach getting more physical with my girlfriend. She seems only to follow my lead in nearly everything. Which can be bad, because I'm hesitant to try certain things with her for fear of being turned down. At least, that's the only reason I can see for it. Honestly, I think I'm just nervous. She responds very well to making out. She's getting more into it, and embracing me more with her arms, and she's fierce with her tongue. lolShe's drop-dead gorgeous, and I would love nothing more than to get more physical. But, I also want to respect her boundaries, and don't want to distance her with failed attempts.If I were to straight-up ask what her thoughts are on it, how should I phrase it, or should I at all? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, The Village Vagrant +, writes (29 July 2007):
The Village Vagrant is verified as being by the original poster of the question Actually, since I've posted this question, things seem to be going well. Naturally, I am a very easygoing guy, so I decided to take the approach of trying something new little by little as I feel out her responses. When we make out now, I've been much more adventurous with my hands, and she's been responding well to it. She's not a big talker in the first place, so I think it's the right approach to just little-by-little make a bigger move. Thanks for the advice, the both of you. :)
A
male
reader, daglish  +, writes (28 July 2007):
 Just like everything is supposed to start from some where, your physical intimacy is supposed to start from some where. The problem is that u are supposed to initiate your girl coz most are shy even when they are dying to drag a man to bed. However a good number firs pretend not to like anything to do with sex. Its worse when u rush for the penetration. However you should start with the flirting language. Gradually include romantic vibe then graduate it to seductive words and with time dont fear to make jokes about having sex and all that stuff. But as you do all this, try not to show any serious intentions of even attempting what u are saying infact make it look like u just love to tease& tickle girls.. Then after an appropriate time, which depends on how found the two of you have become of eachother, take her out on a given evening to a place where both of you rarely hang out. This creates an atmosphere like your the only she knows among the people in that place. Here start to talk seriuos to an extent that you get her surprised with your actions of handling her like both of you are newly wedded. You can ask her to dance if both of you have no problem with it and if theres music any way. By the time you both of you leave for home, a passionate kiss will be inevitable. What better way to kick-off physical romance can be better than that. It wont be long b4 u take her to bed and who can doubt the power of love in darkness..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2007): You're definitely right in thinking that you should communicate your wanting to be more physical rather than simply acting on impulses, trust me, that is NEVER a good idea. Although it can feel really awkward to talk about these things, ("can you suck me off before work" really doesn't sound like a great conversation starter, personally)
Instead of saying what you want, ask what she wants. If she wants to make out, make out. Go from there.
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