A
female
age
36-40,
*abeen
writes:I went on two dates with this guy.He seems really nice, complete gentleman. however he is only visiting for a week and i think he just wants to have a nice time while here and i don't know what i was thinking. I went to dinner and drinks with him once and second day went on a house party. second date went really bad. I was late and he said we'll go home and watch a movie and i freaked out and said i have to go home because i did not want to have sex with him and that's all he wants from me.He even said something smells funny, after i said i have to go. He was just like ok. Now i feel bad not because i want to be with him but i want to hangout with frineds in a group and don't want to end it badly, if we see each other again and i visit his town. what should i tell him on my phone call? how to aplologise? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (26 December 2012):
 Be patient. You'll get your chance the next time you see him and you're normal, confident and polite. If he mentiones it, you could make light of it without accepting any blame. If you rush and try to 'end things on a good note' you'll bugger it up.
He's not lying awake stewing about your reaction. Believe me it means far more to you than it does to him so relax.
A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (26 December 2012):
I don't think you should apologize. Your suspicions were perefectly understandable given how casually people engage in sex and the fact that he'd invited you back to his lodgings after only two dates.
To apologize or send an obviously conciliatory Christmas greeting would imply that you had done something wrong and that his opinion of you was far more important than it should be. His invitation was suspicious and you had every right to question it. Next time you see him, don't even mention it. Be polite with him as you would be with anyone.
I mean this...no apology, no explanations and no trying to make up for it. Leave it only entirely and forget about it.
PS. It helps if you combine all possibly relevant information in the one post. I only saw this one after I'd already answered your other one about ditching your friend.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-ditched-my-friend-for-a-date-and.html
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (24 December 2012):
 1. House parties are NOT a date. Bad idea.
2. If you're going to be late on a date, don't expect the rest of the date to go smoothly.
Now, I would apologize for being late, acting awkward, and accusing him of being a player. What gives you the impression that all he wants is sex?? Because he invited you over to his home to watch movies? So what?! You're an adult (assuming) you have self control and know when to bail on a shady situation.
Don't ask him to hang out or on dates, just let friends naturally happen.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (24 December 2012):
 You don't need to apologise to him, except perhaps for being late for the second date.
He's only around for one week. You were right not to put yourself in a position that might lead to sex after just 2 dates and knowing he's not going to be around much longer. Nothing to apologise for.
But really I think you should just let it go. You said he only wants to have some fun, and you appear to want more. If you phone him I think you should just say sorry for being late and leave it at that.
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A
female
reader, sabeen +, writes (24 December 2012):
sabeen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand but I wanted to know how I can end decently, what could I say to him? Wish him merry Christmas or something like that?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (24 December 2012):
 I think he says something smells funny because you were late for the date and then after all you did not want anything to do with him. He thought you didn't want to meet him at all but it was better late than never. He thought you wanted sex too. You said sex is all he wants from you. So even if he continues being a gentleman he will still try it on you some other time. Or he will just find an easier woman. But it will mean that he will have less time for this friendship. I don't think there is anything to apologise. If he is really interested in friendship he will be calling you. You could try telling him the truth that you only wanted to be friends.
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