A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello People , I am looking for a glimmer of hope or I am not sure . But well I am 29 and have pretty much wasted life from 21 and have been at a standstill for all these years. Currently still at home , have been in a job for years but not progressed at all , either because I hate it or have no ambition . I also have not been with a girl for years because I either struggle to find one I like or have lack of confidence for trying . And I have no Idea how to get out of this or what direction to put my life forward . I keep thinking of time wasted and dwell on it . My hobbies are none and social life is a struggle .Has anybody been in a similar position and actually moved forward ? I know I should be grateful for things but still hate so much about me .cheers
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2015): well use the confidence you had from your ex-girlfriends as validation to improve on other areas of your life.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2015): Or maybe that you could go abroad. I was depressive then went to study and work abroad. It helped me understanding who I am and what I want. There are many scholarships or associations that help people to go and live abroad. Check also wwoffing, in case you would be interested in voluntary work. Hope this helped :)
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A
female
reader, Tee_123  +, writes (2 June 2015):
You NEED to sit yourself down and write about the things you love to do, whether you think you're good at them or not, it matters not. Write down anything and everything that you love to do that is BENEFICIAL to you and your everyday life. If you can literally think of nothing, than write down a list of hobbies that you have NEVER tried before but would like to try. On the side, I would possibly think about seeing a counsellor just for the betterment of your mind, and just to have someone to talk to, because I know that waking up alone and going to bed alone is very difficult...(bf just broke up with me about 2 months ago). So I completely understand the feeling of isolation, but you literally have to look at yourself in the mirror and say, "Everything works out in the end." Because it does...it totally does. And although you might feel really lost right now, don't feel so alone, because there ARE people who care about you. Look at me, I'm trying to help you out and I don't even know you! :) Also, don't bag on yourself for not feeling grateful for what you have, literally every human being does this. And as for your love life, try Tinder? It's honestly a great ego boost when you need it, and who knows? You might find someone amazing on there! :) And also remember, everything happens for a reason, although those reasons might not be so clear right now, things WILL work themselves out.
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A
male
reader, Crazysecret +, writes (2 June 2015):
 So you want to better your life but still live at home and can't find a girlfriend. Sounds to me as though you have no motivation to go after the things you want.You have a job so I assume you have the money to live on your own. You have the desire to get a girl and you're still young but you are reluctant to socialize.You have all the necessary tools to get the things that are missing in a regular healthy lifestyle you lack only the ambition and confidence to go after it. You even say so in your post.I don't see any mystery here. The answer to solve your problems seem clear. If you are seeking for an easier alternative solution though you will not find one. Sorry but there is no magic way to get out of the rut. If you want out, start climbing. You might fall the first few times or you might surprise yourself and discover that you are actually a pretty good climber. Nevertheless, nothing will change if you just sit in your rut.
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