A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend (of 3 months) lives about 2 hours from me so its not that difficult for us to see each other, but we can only visit at weekends cos we both work full time. However, he wants to see me pretty much every weekend. I.e. alternating visits. But every say, 1 weekend in 3, I will want to do my own thing, e.g. go clubbing with friends, meet friends in a different part of town etc...or even just have a weekend on my own. But he always wants to join in/get involved even though I sometimes want to do my own thing. For instance he will want to come clubbing even though he doesnt even like clubbing. Cos he is quite introvert and I'm quite extrovert so I feel like every now and then we should just do our own things/with own interests.He says not seeing me for 2 weeks (if we miss a weekend) is too much, and he'll miss me too much. Is this fair enough? I can't work out if I'm being mean/should see him every weekend. I mean if he is willing to put the effort in why aren't i?? Or if its OK and normal for me to want to do my own thing every few weeks...
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (30 August 2008):
You need your own space. Everyone does. And you need your own social life, or you will stop being Neil and Wendy and just become Weil and loose who you are.
Tell him that 2 weeks is not long and if he can't cope then he should start looking for a job closer to you.
Compromise and tell him you'll take a day off work and come up early the next time.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, babewithbrains +, writes (30 August 2008):
 I understand, It isn't anything to do with your love for him, but your love for yourself! Everyone likes to have a bit fun now and again, or visit someone else, to play around or do girly shopping. Tell him that you and *friend's name here* are going shopping to *shopping centre here* to visit the new bodyshop or something, and have a girly day out.You can always have Saturday to yourself, and he comes down in the evening, for dinner and you spend Sunday together, or sepparate if you so wish.There is always a happy medium when you think about it.Best wishes,Jellyxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): Are you sure you are in love with him? Two weeks is a lot of time to pass before seeing someone you are suppose to be in love with. Usually when two people are on the same page they try to spend as much time together as possible. Looks like this is a one sided relationship. Why are you dragging him behind you if you are not truly committed? That is unfair for him and you if that is not what you truly want. If my boyfriend told me that he would rather go clubbing than hang out with me after not seeing me for 2 weeks would be terms for termination. I understand that two people in a relationship need their own space but if you need more than that then let him move on. Just my opinion. I think you already know the answer to this question, and what you need to do.
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