A
female
age
51-59,
*oClue
writes:I have been dating a man for 8 months now. Most of the time he is a caring, loyal, loving man. However, he leads an extremely stressful life and suffers from anxiety and depression. He is in a failed marriage and is legally separated from his wife. The only thing preventing him from divorcing is financial reasons. He has 3 kids. When he encounters a stressful or overwhelming situation his natural reaction is to pull away and stop interacting with me and enter into depression. Although this is frustrating, I've learned this is his way of coping. He is extremely poor at communicating his needs to me. On Friday he told me, after I suggested it, that he needed space and I have honored his request. This is the second time he has done this and I'm beginning to get impatient. I am on day 3 of no contact.The last time I finally clued in that he needed space, because he didn't communicate with me, he went silent for 4 days and then finally came out of it. How long do I give someone who has requested space? Is it reasonable for me to honor his request for space? Is this normal behavior when a man is overwhelmed, under stress, and has depression?I'm seriously weighing my options in this relationship. Thanks for your help. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2014): I am in the process of leaving a similar guy. You will be treading on eggshells wondering how, why and when and it will only get worse. He hasn't even come out the other end from a divorce. Please step out of this emotional bog of doom before it sucks you in and drains you.
Im on day four of no contact and getting stronger by the day. I spent the last nine months trying to figure this guy out and what he needs from me. Don't bother! I feel sad I invested the time and know it will be hard starting over. But hey no more waiting wondering I can move on and will and so can you......
A
male
reader, M Proops  +, writes (6 January 2014):
Divorce is always a messy and frequently expensive.I think your fellow should seek medical help in case it drives him over the edge.
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A
female
reader, NoClue +, writes (6 January 2014):
NoClue is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnother question, how do I give him space when I want answers?
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