A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I am 37 with two kids. My husband and I have know each other for 16 years and married for 8 years. Recently I've discovered he watches pornography every day via a free internet video. I wouldn't care if our sex life even existed but it doesn't. I don't know what is normal, and if I should say anything. I think it is a little weird as he has a VERY stressful job and very little free time as it is.
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male
reader, a husband +, writes (8 April 2008):
The most important thing you can do in this situation is talk to him. Find out his feelings about your sex life together, ask why he wants to watch that stuff, tell him what you feel about it. If he's watching this stuff and not having sex with you, then that means he's taking care of his desires himself. Find out why he feels like he needs to do that.
Talking about it is the first step. Just sit him down and talk.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (2 April 2008):
 The most important thing you mentioned is that you have two children. The second most important information revealed is that you have little or no sex life with your husband. The problem is that the second thing can adversely affect the first, as well as your own well being and his. This all adds up to a very serious situation that may well deserve professional counseling for everyone's sake, in my opinion. Perhaps you could begin by having a good talk and let him know your concerns.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008): "He watches a lot of porn because you guys don't have sex."
Ha! Right. More like the other way around. You aren't having sex because he'd rather look at porn. Sounds like YOU want to have sex with your spouse. He clearly doesn't. What's he doing instead of making love to his wife when he comes home? Turning on the computer and staring at fake boobs on a screen.
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A
female
reader, brooke5426  +, writes (2 April 2008):
 yeah i would agree its too much. He doesnt have much free time for you but has time to watch porn? The time that he is spending online watching that could be spent having sex with you. I would ask him whats going on and why he seems to prefer that. Try not to be too hurt though, its probably not a personal thing. I'd bet its just that porn is quick and readily available whenever he logs on.
Brooke
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008): Porn can be poisonous in a relationship if it replaces the physical contact between you.
Have you looked into the reasons as to why you dont have sex within your marriage? Is it personal choice? After the kids did you put it off for a long time and he got fed up of pushing? Do you just never feel like it? Whatever the reason, it needs to be addressed. As for being too much porn, thats hard to say but the fact that it is kept from you is a worrying sign. Your husband is obviously still very interested in sexual activity so you need to find out why this is not involving you.
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (2 April 2008):
 You pretty much answered your question, kind of. He watches alot of porn because you guys dont have sex. And add a stress filled job on top and little time and you have a man that needs that release alot just to relax and feel good for a minute. Yea, it probably is too much porn and people can become addicted to it. So, if you love your husband I think you guys need to figure out how to put the romance and sex back in your marraige otherwise it could be in trouble real soon.
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