A
male
age
,
*ar9101
writes:OK, this might sound stupid comming from a guy, But my Ex-wife said that I want sex to much and she couldn't take it any more,( I think she just wanted to get of and be with someone else). I don't think that3 to 4 times a week is to much and would like some feed back from girls on this problem, as they are the ones who should know, because us guys will do it anytime we can LOL. Need your help. Am I a sex addict??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2011): 3-4 times a week does not make one a sex addict, in my opinion.
I am in my 40's and my fiance (also the same age) and I have sex every single day because we both want to (okay one week off during my period). Sometimes on the weekends 2-3 times a day, depending on what we have going on.
Like the other person responded, it's all in your sex drive and her sex drive. I don't think it's a blanket answer for everyone because everyone does not have the same sex drive.
Maybe you can spice things up with a little different foreplay, or something spontanious that will excite her and want to have sex more often....maybe it's getting redundant, same place, same start, same way, same, same, same...I don't know...
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (18 March 2011):
 Guy's will not do it anytime they can. This is often what people like to think, but it's not true. What I learned when I joined this site is a very useful term called "sex drive". This explains things a lot better than saying how much sex is ok and how much is too much etc.
Sex drive is what determines a persons interest for sex, or need for sex. A person with a high sex drive will want sex often. A very high sex drive for example can result in sex several times a day. Reversed, a low sex drive can result in only wanting sex once a month.
There is nothing that is "too high" or "too low" when it comes to sex drives, or the amount of sex you have. That is, as long as it's not an addiction that leads to negative impacts on the rest of your life, like missing out on work because you were at home having sex, or dropping out of school because you have sex too much. Then it's a problem. But as long as you have a balanced life and get around to doing all the things you should do, and that the sex doesn't get in the way of other things you should be doing (like work, school, obligations, eating, staying healthy etc.) then it's fine to enjoy sex to whatever degree you please.
The case with your ex wife is more likely because of your difference in sex drives. She has a low sex drive, or perhaps she had a period where she lost interest in sex al-together, and experienced your higher sex drive as a push-factor. Thus it became a problem for her.
Sex drives can change! You can have periods of high sex drives, and periods of low sex drives. It is normal! Especially women when they reach their menopause experience a sex drive change. It can swing both ways. Men also tend to have a higher sex drive while young, and a lower as they grow older. The living situation can change your sexual appetite, stress can change it, your relationship dynamics can change it too.
So, to answer your question: no you are not a sex addict, and you weren't asking for too much sex. But it was too much for your ex-wife. Likely though this was a problem created by something else in your marriage that resulted in the difficulties in the bedroom. Sex is intricate business. A good sex life is often dependent on the dynamics of the relationship as a whole.
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