A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How much does love matter in a relationship? Can you be happy with someone who gives you everything you could want but you are not in love with them. By that I mean, a family, a home, money, a great social life and their love. Long term is this enough or will you always leave for true love in the end? Is this different for men and women?
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (22 August 2009):
 I was actually JUST reading an article about this about how women search for movie fireworks but some of the best marriages actually come from relationships like this, apparently. Now whether you can be happy with that or not is really up to you. Some will and some won't be. However, in the end if there is NO love on your side, then no, you probably won't be too happy.
A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (22 August 2009):
 Well if hanging with a sugar daddy's your bag. Then fine. But most people inevitably want to go from being a user or usee to being loved and sharing love. Otherwise, its just a co-dependency thing. Just substitute material things for drugs and you have the same outcome.
So you would have your needs met, in terms of survival, but your emotional needs would go ignored and your self-worth would be nill.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2009): I'm about a decade younger than you, but I dated a guy for a little over a year because he was amazing. He made me very happy, I got a great social life because of him, he became one of my best friends (still is), and our relationship was great. But even though he was so amazing and I loved being with him, I didn't love him (even though I tried to tell myself and convince myself I was). I still wanted to be with him because he made me happy, but after two times of breaking up with him because I started liking other guys in romantic ways, I started to like a third guy, and decided to end it, realizing that it'd be that way forever if I was to stay with him. I would always end up breaking up with him whenever I felt stronger for someone else, and it wasn't fair to him because he had real feelings for me.
In short, you definitely can be happy. In fact, sometimes relationships are easier with someone you're not in love with. But it won't last. You two can still remain friends, but you will find someone else who you will actually fall in love with and will someday leave this guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2009): I think that love is very important in relationships. Firstly, it isn't fair to your partner if you don't love them back, because eventually you will not be happy with her and you will have so many more experiences together that the longer you wait the more you will hurt her when the relationship ends. In time you might grow to love her back, but maybe not.
In any case, you will be happier yourself if you wait for somebody who you love in return.
I don't know if it is different for men and women, but coming from another man I think you should find somebody who you love.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (22 August 2009):
I think you can be very happy with all of the above, but if someone comes along and you all in love with them then you are going to leave.
It is a little different for men and women, but the gap is getting less and less since we women no longer NEED a man to provide a home and security for us any more. It's a lot easier to run off and leave your husband.
All in all, paying someone to be your wife (with a rent free home and food and possessions) is only good if both parties agree to it and are aware that it may not last forever and DO NOT bring kids into the equation.
Good Luck!! xx
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