A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My daughter is 4 years old and starting pre-school this week. I was wondering what she should know about about the "birds and the bees" before she goes to school. I'm not sure what the age appropriate discussion would be. I've done some research on it, and everything just says keep it age appropriate. Any thoughts? Has anyone had this conversation with with their 4 year old? Or does any one know of any reading material on the matter? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, SugarCookie +, writes (16 September 2008):
I just read the other responses and some of them you need to be careful with if your daughter asks a lot of questions. I was a very curious child so be careful what story you do. Dont lie but remember that if you say that babies come from mommie's tummy and daddy puts a seed there or that you have eggs that grow into a baby here are some of the other questions that might come to her mind.
-How does the baby come out?
-How did daddy put the seed in mommy?
-Do I have baby growing eggs?
-Can I have a baby?
-When does the egg decide to be a baby?
Can you answer any of those? Kids are smarter than we think! Just make sure that when you do talk about the birds and the bees that you think of all the questions that she could ask. That way you dont get surprised and have a red face during the talk.
A
female
reader, SugarCookie +, writes (16 September 2008):
I think that anything really about babies can wait another couple years but sadly there are a few things you have to cover.
1. Private parts. She has to know that no one should touch or see her private parts. And she shouldn't touch or look at anyones elses.
Sadly kids are curious at that age and some other kids have been molested and dont know its wrong. So she really needs to know the power of the word no!!
2. Kisses. Kiss are only ok if she gives them to mommy, daddy, or siblings or other family. Not for friends.
That not only keeps her from kissing boys but it will help with her not getting as many colds and flus.
Then if she ends up coming to you with any questions answer then but i think by age 8 she needs the puberty talk. I hit puberty at 8 and was glad that my mom had talked to me before then.
Also keep in mind the drug talk. Depending on your area depends on the age. At the elementary school that I live by kids are trying drugs and alcohol by age 6 so try to figure out what is going on at her school and when that talk should be given.
I really hope i helped!
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (15 September 2008):
 BTW -
Make sure that you read or view any book or DVD before you read them with your child in order to determine if they are age appropriate for your child's development too.
XXX
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female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (15 September 2008):
 Age appropriate just means you tell them in simple terms. Eg if she asks where babies come from you could say mummy's tummy. If she asks how they get there you could say daddy puts a tiny seed there which turns into a baby or tell her you have special baby eggs that grow into babies. She is unlikely to question things and may just be satisfied with the first answer only for a while. She will probably start asking more questions as she gets older but you just deal with each stage as it happens. You dont need to tell her anything before she starts school x
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female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (15 September 2008):
I think that the appropriate time comes when a child expresses curiosity towards it and begins asking questions. Most 4 years olds don't ask questions, but you'd be surprised what a 6 year old will come out with! My son asked what a condom was at that age! I applaud you for wanting give your child the right information yourself instead of worrying about her head being filled with misinformation by her classmates. I found out from a friend, and I was shocked and disappointed that my parents hid the facts of life from me, so I tried to tell my kids before they found out the wrong way. You'll probably know for yourself when your child is ready to understand the basic concepts and how much information she can handle at each age.
There are a lot of great books, like "Where did I come from?" and even animated videos. (My 7 year old son was nervous about viewing this when I asked him to watch it. After viewing it, he said the reason that he was worried before was that "He thought there was going to be more sex in it!".) Some are even geared to the youngest age groups with simple explanations like " the egg and the seed...", and some are geared to explain even more fully actually Why people enjoy the sex act - although the explanation of the orgasm as an explosion is a bit frightening for a 6 or 7 year old! -"You Explode at the End??? I'm NEVER, EVER having Sex!!!"- LOL! Give her straightforward answers with proper names for all the body parts that are involved. Frankly, I found that children will absorb the answer that they need and dump the rest, so I always gave them more information than they asked for in the hopes that I satisfied their Current curiosity, and that usually worked for us.
Don't forget that it's an ongoing process, and give them more information about relationships and contraception WELL before they need that too. A lot of parents expect that schools will teach them, but in this day and age, knowing that your child has all of the information that they will need to keep them safe is first and foremost our job as parents. Good Luck and Be Brave!!! LOL!
XXX
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2008): I know I'm probably going to be no help, but I'm 12, and my Mom told me when I was 6. Maybe wait till she asks?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 September 2008):
 I was lucky, when my oldest daughter was four, and my yournger daughter was 2, I gave birth to my son. Questions came up off and on during the following years. I guess I advise to only address the immediate question at hand, like "what the heck is that thing between baby bro's legs"? No need to describe all the activities that a penis can be involved in just the basics. If there are no baby boys in your household maybe you can borrow one...just a thought.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2008): This is a difficult one to answer because kids mature at different stages in their lives, but I would have said that an appropriate time is when she starts to notice the main difference between boys and girls, which could be anywhere between 6 and 10 years old.
Alternatively it might be about the same time as she stops believing in Father Christmas and the tooth fairy.
Once she comes out of the wonderland that is childhood and starts to enter the real world, I think you'll kind of figure out for yourself when that might be.
I don't really see the point of filling a child's head with adult material before they're likely to use the information that's imparted. When the time comes, she'll probably be able to tell you all about the facts of life, as gleaned from her classmates at school. All you have to do then is correct any misinformation she's got in her head.
Reminds me of the joke where the little girl comes into the kitchen and asks her mother if she can get pregnant. The mother tells her that of course she can't as she's only 7 years old. The kid goes back outside and shouts "Ok guys - same game!"
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female
reader, Cat_87 +, writes (15 September 2008):
 Hey i don't have a child myself but i think 4 is 2 young to no all the gory details! I used 2 babysit a child and she once asked me where babies come from i told her that a daddy has a seed and he puts the seed into the mummy and it grows into a baby inside her. I think thats a nice way of telling her, its not lies like the stork etc but its not the whole gory truth and when she gets older you can build on that story. Hope that helps! x
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