A
male
age
41-50,
*_nice_guy_finishing_last
writes:We've been in a long distance relationship for over two years now. It's been a struggle for much of that time due to insecurity and the occasional bout of jealousy. This is mostly due to the sporadic sex life, which has left me with severe doubts about whether I can satisfy her needs. She is a hot girl and has had a pretty comprehensive sex life before me with guys much more confident and attractive than myself - the curse of Facebook! But she was rejected by the guy she really wanted to be with and I feel like maybe she is just settling for second best. Unfortunately I'm not very experienced and lack self-confidence and doubt I will ever be able to match up and take her to the heights she reached with others.On my most recent visit she dropped the bomb that she was breaking up with me due to the distance issues and insecurity and it turns out she had dated someone else for a while and slept with him, but broke it up when I confirmed that I could come and study with her for 3 months. I feel I deserved this as I had a drunken one night fling a year prior, but she forgave me. I'm still in love with her but deeply hurt and don't know what to do - I arranged this visit mostly to be with her and try and cement our relationship and plan for the future.Neither of us has found long distance easy and given that some respect and a little trust has been lost it makes it seem improbable that we could continue unless we get together very soon. But we want to be together and both know that finding true love is likely to be only a once in a lifetime occurrence and we are both smart enough to figure out that the problems are mostly due to our insecurities which are exacerbated by the distance.Is there a way past these issues? Can time heal the hurts from such indiscretions? Is it possible to have a healthy sex life with someone who has had a lot of experience and done everything with much better lovers before you? Big questions asked with a heavy heart, any advice will be gratefully received.
View related questions:
drunk, facebook, jealous, long distance, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, A_nice_guy_finishing_last +, writes (18 March 2010):
A_nice_guy_finishing_last is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's over - she left the house yesterday and didn't come back - was out sleeping with some guy while I was in pieces. I guess she didn't love me after all. Another painful ending to an LDR- everyone else take note.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010): Having just come out of a LDR i'd say they are alot more pain than it's worth. Not all cases obviously but in my experience. This was only a 100 mile round trip and about an hour drive but it still had too many downsides. You dont really know what this girl is up to with other men, ones that she knew before and during her time with you. The sex shouldnt really be an issue, a man that has slept with one girl a thousand times could learn more than somebody thats been with 40 different girls. My LDR also had jealous issues, both of us, and im talking about mine also being very attractive, so she probably gets approached all the time, would she tell other good looking men that she had a long distance boyfriend? If she wanted somebody else in the first place then I firmly believe she would never fall deeply in love with you, and maybe she isnt the one. If you were going to enter this whole heartedly, expect more pain than a normal relationship and more arguements. sorry if that sounded too harsh, i'm trying to give advice through gritted teeth after my LDR failed lol :(
...............................
|
