A
female
age
41-50,
*ennaHB
writes:I have been browsing the site for an answer to: when is it best to have sex for the first time in a new relationship? Most replies were about the date number ...(1st to 5th etc.) but what I would really like to know is a time frame: how many weeks/months should you be dating before considering you know the person well enough to be confortable about intimacy together? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2011): As everyone its depends on both of you. It isn't about how long you wait to sleep with him, it is about what is he/you want for the future. I had sex after two weeks knowing him and fall in love but it didn't work, because that guy only wants me to his bed and having fantastic sex.
If you already had sex before you know it how important for you. If your drive is high then don't waste your time because it won't work with cute guy and bad sex.
It is all upto you, in your hands. It isn't about time.
Remember to have a health check both of you before you jump to bed.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011): One or two dates.
A week or two from knowing the person initially.
As a guy, I can wait, but I'm not gonna go on dates for months without sex. Sex is an important part of the relationship too. Personally I'd rather try sex and see how compatible the partner and I am are before we get very serious. Why would you want to get into a committed relationship then only to find out you've committed yourself to horrible sex or a partner with -no- sex drive?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 December 2011):
 I always say dating isn't good enough. A real official exclusive relationship is what it takes, and then a minimum of two weeks into such an official relationship. "Dating" just isn't commitment enough to be having sex with someone.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 December 2011):
 Depends on you. Personally, I would take a good long time to get to know the guy (a LOT more then 5 dates) more like 4-6 months. Because for me sex means a lot to me emotionally and I just won't be casual about it.
But someone else might do differently.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 December 2011):
 I swear it's different for each couple
a lot has to do with age too...
if i was 18 and a virgin my time frame is going to be very different than if I was 28 and divorced....
also I dated some guys and slept with them on the first date (and married them too later on) and others that even after 3 or 4 weekly dates I felt nothing worth sleeping with for these guys.
every case is different.
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A
female
reader, bluecow  +, writes (5 December 2011):
 Thats not something you will get a straight answer for...The real answer is WHEN YOUR READY!Some people dont have much spare time and so maybe only get to see their boyf once a week or fortnight. Others have tons of spare time and see their BF every day. Some relationships start out as a one night stand, others have waited until marriage before sex happens. When you feel comfortable enough in yourself and in him is the time for things to get sexual.Ive said this before too... good sex doesnt have to mean penetration, there are plenty of other things you could be amusing youself with before "doing the deed".Also remember its a good idea to get yourselves a health check before embarking on a new sexual relationship, and remember to use condoms!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2011): It all depends on the relationship! My partner and I waited about 3 months. We had chatted regularly, and dated for the few months. Even mucked about on a couple occasions, but both didnt want to rush it. When we both felt right we went ahead.Some people wait around 3 months, others rush straight into it. Others i know waited several months. I was going with a guy once for 6 months and the most we did was kiss/make out. It just didnt really come up in the relationship and I knew he was quite inexperienced and nervous so was happy waiting.
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A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (5 December 2011):
 Well the fact of the matter is no one can give you a precise time on when you should be intimate. I know couples who waited both weeks and months before becoming intimate and they're still together. And I know a few people that waited just as long- and they're no longer with the person they had sex with. So it all depends on how you feel, how compatible you are with the person you're dating, and how comfortable you both are in taking things to the next level. And the bottom line is you have to try to utilize your judgement to the best of your ability. I wrote an article about this particular thing. If you want to read it, you can check it out here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ladies-what-you-should-know-before-you-have.html Best Wishes!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2011): I think it depends on you and the person you are with. If you know each other for nine months, but only go on a date once a month and only see each other very rarely, you probably don't know each other very well. If you know each other for two months and you have been practically joined at the hip that whole time, then maybe you would feel much more comfortable and ready for the next level. Ask yourself how you feel around your partner, and if you are ready, don't force yourself to a specific time frame
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