A
female
age
30-35,
*113yx8
writes:So, this is kind of a simple question and I'm not so sure that there is a real answer as everyones opinion is different but, Do people fall in love more then once? and does the feelings ever go away? I've known this one guy since I was 12 and I fell in love with him so quick after we met it seemed like and although I was young I know i was in love because here I am years later still feeling the same. Me and him were never officially together because he lives in a different state but he came by where I lived every summer and we saw each other the whole summers. I ended up actually meeting a great guy that lived by me so me and him started dating. We've been together a year and a half now and I love him but as a person. I don't feel as if I love him like I loved the other guy. Do people always fall in love quickly if they are ever going to be in love or could it take time such as 2 years or even 3? Thanks, I know I kind of had 3 questions in there :)
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reader, a113yx8 +, writes (4 July 2010):
a113yx8 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks so much for taking the time to answer :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2010): I think there are many different kinds of love and yes you can fall in love with many different people, but each one may be different. You're still young and I remember being your age and thinking I knew exactly what love was all about. I had a better grasp of it than most people but I still didn't know much about it, I don't think it's something that you can ever really put a fine label on. Love grows and changes as you grow and change. Infatuation, lust and love always get blurred together. It's hard to decipher what is what. Does it really matter though? Do you really need to put a label on it all and say "Yes I was more in love with guy A than guy B," that's not a healthy way to live. Just enjoy the feelings you have with the guys that give you those feelings. I had a similar relationship when I was around your age, it was sweet and innocent and looking back now I'd say it was just teenage love. He wasn't my "true love" if you want to use those terms, even though at the time and for many years after he disappeared from my life I believed he was. The man I'm in love with now is much different than my summer love in my teenage years. He's been through hell with me and stuck around through some very tough times. Love is not always pretty and it comes with a lot of pain so finding a guy who can handle those parts of it is what you want to look for.
To answer your questions: yes you can fall in love more than once and yes eventually you get over them and move on, although since they were a part of your life you'll always have the memories but you don't always long to be with them. There is no set amount of time that it takes to fall in love, some people say it happens instantly some say it takes time. I think lust and infatuation is what kicks in instantly and most of the time people are just happy and excited in a fresh and new relationship. It's exciting having a new person in your life getting to know them and experiencing things with them. People confuse this with love though. I think love takes time to develop though, after the exciting newness of a relationship wears off and you start to see the reality of the person, that's when you start to realize whether you love them or not. It's the small things that usually make you love someone not the big grand gestures that people do when they are first dating. I was best friends with my guy for 5 years, I went through a really rough time and he was the only one who was by my side and that's when I fell in love with him even though I knew I had feelings for him the whole time it wasn't until then that I was in love with him.
I hope this helps although it's long and probably messy. Don't think too much about these things, life is short and needs to be lived not analyzed all the time.
Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2010): Well there is a fine line between love and lust. You can fall in love many times but only once in your life will you find that special someone who you'll love. Falling in love and loving someone are two different things. To fall in love is the first step.
NightFairy
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