A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My question is this: How many people would find it impossible to tolerate someone in their home being rude and obnoxious to them?I find I have a quick cut off point where I don't want to tolerate rude, obnoxious or threatening behaviour.I understand that people have problems but I just don't see the justification for obnoxiously fractious behaviour.I pay my bills and I pay to keep a roof over my head to maintain a peaceful dwelling.Why is that an alien concept to some? Do some people actually get their kicks by going into a person's home in an apparently peaceful manner and then ratcheting up the critiscm and stress to unsettling levels without having the common sense to leave the dwelling if they can't stand it that much.It creates a feeling in me that they would like my home without me in it, which is an unsettling concept to say the least.And is it abnormal that they think they have a right to do it.Is it to erode my confidence or is it to gain negative attention.How many people prefer to keep a peaceful dwelling?
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female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (24 September 2021):
I agree with HoneyPie. This post is too vague to give really succinct answers.
Who exactly are these people? Your family; your in-laws; your friends? Or are you living in a multi-occupancy house? Or does it happen with everybody who walks through your doors?
Of course nobody likes being criticised or insulted in their own home and you have the right to ask these people to leave or not invite them back. Of course, this is more difficult to do if they're your children or other family member.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 September 2021):
 Who are these people that come into your home and act like this?
If it's family, I'd NOT invite them over. I'd meet them outside of the home for dinner, lunch, etc.
If it's "friends", then I'd probably go low contact and only see them OUTSIDE of my home.
If it's your kids/young adult kids I'd sit them down and have a chat about manners.
If it's your spouse, I'd do the same.
If it's caregivers - I'd make complaints.
It's kind of hard to give more specific advice when YOU are being purposely vague.
Overall, YES I want a peaceful and relaxing home life. Who doesn't? Do I always get that? No, my husband can be obnoxious. I don't think I have had any people in my house (ever) that have spent time criticizing me or my home. At least not to my face.
Why CARE what these people say? Ask them to leave and get your peace back.
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