A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm wondering in general how many marriages start with the girl twisting the guys arm?! I just heard two stories of girls I know. One moved out of her apartment and refused to move back in until her boyfriend proposed... Which he did after three weeks! The other involved a massive screaming fight "why won't you ask me to marry you!?" "Because I'm not ready" "but we've been together X years you should know by now!" Now I by all means am guilty of trying to pressure my ex into marrying me, but for me it was because he had changed his mind about wanting to marry me over the years and I just wanted to feel validated! My current boyfriend will ask me when he's ready - I feel he's the one, id love to get married but I'm sort of embarrassed by these stories so I'm not bringing it up ever again! I know here in Ireland that men can be a bit ... slow... Shall we say about the whole thing. My boyfriend believes that a large proportion of the population 'settle' in all areas of their lives (ie jobs they hate, marrying there first GF etc). He's had multiple girlfriends and doesn't believe in settling at all.. And he respects my age - has told me that he wouldn't waste my time - when we got together he said that if he didn't know if he wanted to marry me after a year, he would break up with me so I can get on with life and find someone. Well were over the year and a half mark so I'm not worried really , marriage will come unless something happens untowards... :-)Is it just that men don't want to get married anymore because they don't have to wait to have sex until marriage etc? Or is it only the ones who propose after a couple of years are the lucky ones and they just can't wait to marry their partner? Do you think most guys just do it out of pressure... Because they just don't seem enthusiastic about the idea much really! Or is it a case of men settling for their girlfriends and thinking "well I might as well shut her up!?"Maybe it's different in other countries but it seems that the average age in Ireland to get married is 30 ish plus? Yet in the States it's much younger! ...though maybe divorce rates show that!Thanks aunts and uncles :-)
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2014): All of them!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2014): For the most part, if men are getting everything they want without being legally tied; they settle for that.
They are slow to marriage; because you can't just walk away if you have a nasty fight. You can physically remove yourself, but legal-action will find you.
Rampant cynicism brought on by high divorce statistics; and the lack of the ability to compromise keeps men very skeptical about marriage.
Some fear losing freedom; and taking on responsibility. The biggest fear is marrying the wrong woman. Some people change dramatically once they're married. Sleeping with the same partner forever-after, scares many of us.
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