A
female
age
36-40,
*9gaby19
writes:Hi, i don´t know how to start.I fell in love with a guy who has a girlfriend and have a baby(2 months) with her.He is my boss, and i use to work with him over one year as interpreter. Our relationship start by small games.I mean when i started we agreed that we should be as a friends cause he can´t speak slovak and i´ll be his and in the way his right hand for all his problems.But some how we start has jokes on each other and later start with sweet fights.After one company party we went on disco and a bit drunk start kissing each other.From that time our relationship start grow.After five months i found out that his girlfriend is pregnant(she´s got pregnant before our romance).Than i wanted finish but he changed my attitude,he´s knew it after three months about her pregnancy but been scared to tell me.He is caring of more than for her, he´s been forgetting take her to doctor for check ups, but me never.When his daughter born he been there but other three days been nearly whole day with me. The biggest problem is, he can´t decide what he wants?He is scare, if he finish with his girlfriend he´ll see his daughter once a month.He knows i am prepare to wait for him.What do you think will he leave her?How long it will takes?He told me:,, I don´t love my girlfriend, our relationship is breaking of to friendship.When i am at home with daughter i think of you and miss you, when i am with you i think of my daughter and miss her." i tried to find a boyfriend or a love, i could not.My kisses been empty, without feeling.it was terrible.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2009): Sorry but from what you say, this guy isnt planning on leaving his baby ad girlfriend for you, hes just having his fun while he can. Hes not a great guy, sorry to say that, but he isnt doing right by anyine in this situation!
You need to cut him out of your life to save yourself any more pain! And then move on and find things to fill your life and make you happy. Then you will meet someone better and who you will fall in love with again! :)
Good luck honey, this is a tough situation!
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (8 January 2009):
 He is not going to leave his family for you. You are just his mistress, not a candidate for his future wife.
Have you considered the damage you are doing to that poor child?
He would be having an affair with whoever he liked enough that was available. You just happen to be at the right place, at the right time.
If he truly was unhappy, he would leave his family REGARDLESS of whether or not you were in his life.
I suggest that you look within yourself to figure out why you seek out men that are emotionally unavailable to you.
-Frank Kermit
www.franktalks.com
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2009): I'm sorry to have to say this.... but he probably won't leave her. You'll end up being strung along for months or even years on empty promises of how he'll leave her, and you won't be able to move on with your life.
Having a child together means they have an incredibly strong connection. If the child wasn't around, it would be a lot easier for him to cut away from her.
If you genuinely think he cares more for you than her, then give him an ultimatum. He has a certain amount of time to tell her, and if he doesn't, then you're moving on. Hard to say, yes, but at least then if he doesn't say anything to her, then you know where you stand.
If you just let him carry on as he is at the moment - then he's got the best of both worlds - a mother to his child, and you, as everything else.
Good luck!
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