A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am writing because I need serious advice. Here is the story. I am single but fell for a married woman who has 2 young boys and her husband was an alcoholic and severe depression. He was a good guy but created a big stress in her life because of the consequences of his problems. We ended up having a brief affair, but it ended because she would never leave him because as she stated repeatedly "he needed her". He never found out about us, and she tried to resume her responsibilities in the marriage. He committed suicide a few weeks ago, and now she is dealing with the aftermath. I have talked to her, and I know it had nothing to do with us- he was just so sick. I have loved her for the last year and a half, but have stayed away for her sake and the children's sake. I guess I am wondering if now I should try to walk away completely. I went over there the other night to see how she was doing and we ended up kissing, but I stopped it because I told her the timing was wrong. I didn't want to stop it, but I realized she wasn't in the right frame of mind to make decisions. I try to tell myself it is wrong to love her, but I can't help it. When will the time be right or will it ever be right to be with her again? She is such a strong amazing woman who has been through so much and I don't want to lose her. I do feel guilty about what we did before but she told me that I actually helped her at that time because she was going through so much with her husband that I was able to give her a piece of herself back for a little while. I wonder if there is any future for us at all and how long should she need before she is ready? I want to do what is right for her, and I know she has feeling for me, but I don't want her to do anything before she is ready.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, answersqueen  +, writes (21 March 2010):
I think it is very good of you to stop kissing her when really it should of been her! I think you should give it a while her children need her more than ever at the moment and it wouldn't be nice for them getting a new man who seems like a replacement dad. If you do decide to get together take it slowly as in dates and things not going to quickly for her and her kids sake :) i really hope this helped you a bit
Answerqueen xx
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