A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. I hope you can help me.My girlfriend split up with me about a month ago. We'd been together for well ove two years.It hit me hard cos I was (and still am) so in love with her.I've read all the advice on how to deal with a breakup- I've written my thoughts down, written all the 'bad things' to look at when I think of the good things, I've talked to a couple of trusted people, etc etc.However like I said, its been a month and it still hurts so much. I'm not crying all the time like I was at the start but when I wake up each morning, my heart fills with dread and she comes into my mind. I just feel so empty.I miss her SOOOOOOO much! We live in the same very small town and we have bumped into each other a couple of times. Its very painful because she looks so beautiful and I can't believe that she is no longer mine. I have to keep telling myself that we're no longer together cos I just can't believe it.Is all this normal? How long should it take? DO I need to see a therapist or something? What should I do?I know there is no chance of us getting back together and I'm not really interested in meeting anyone else.I'm feeling so low- its affecting every part of my life. I've taken up new hobbies etc etc but she is always on my mind.Someone please help, I'm desperate!!
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female
reader, crispap  +, writes (20 October 2009):
I know how you are feeling because I still can't really get over my last break up either and still think about him even though I know he was very wrong for me. I can't help the way I feel about him and miss him all the time.Best thing that will help is to start dating again, even if you are not feeling it. It will help get your mind off her at least for SOME part of the day, and will help boost your self confidence. You may even meet someone you really like that will turn into an even better relationship than you had before. Then in time you will see that you don't need her as much anymore. You can also try writing a letter with all the things you wish you could tell her if you had the chance but didn't but DO NOT send it! Keep it for yourself and for later on if she is ever willing to talk to you again.You don't give reasons for the break up though..who's choice it was, if there was cheating involved or if it was you are her that did something bad...? Depending on these things sometimes there IS hope to save the relationship with time or to at least stay friends if you broke up on good terms. That way you still get to see them once in a while, not miss them so much and keep the love going. But without knowing the details I can't really say much more..
A
female
reader, crispap +, writes (20 October 2009):
I know how you are feeling because I still can't really get over my last break up either and still think about him even though I know he was very wrong for me. I can't help the way I feel about him and miss him all the time.Best thing that will help is to start dating again, even if you are not feeling it. It will help get your mind off her at least for SOME part of the day, and will help boost your self confidence. You may even meet someone you really like that will turn into an even better relationship than you had before. Then in time you will see that you don't need her as much anymore. You can also try writing a letter with all the things you wish you could tell her if you had the chance but didn't but DO NOT send it! Keep it for yourself and for later on if she is ever willing to talk to you again.You don't give reasons for the break up though..who's choice it was, if there was cheating involved or if it was you are her that did something bad...? Depending on these things sometimes there IS hope to save the relationship with time or to at least stay friends if you broke up on good terms. That way you still get to see them once in a while, not miss them so much and keep the love going. But without knowing the details I can't really say much more..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2009): Time is a healer and there is no set time for the grieving process. Each situation is unique. Sometimes we can walk away quite easily and happily from someone and others that have moved us can take so much longer. I have been where you are and know what it is like; I feel for you. You sound like you are doing all that you can do. Keep on keepin on and keep talking it out with those who will listen and keep yourself busy. It will get better, I promise:). Sending you lots of good thoughts while you heal...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2009): Time is a healer and there is no set time for the grieving process. Each situation is unique. Sometimes we can walk away quite easily and happily from someone and others that have moved us can take so much longer. I have been where you are and know what it is like; I feel for you. You sound like you are doing all that you can do. Keep on keepin on and keep talking it out with those who will listen and keep yourself busy. It will get better, I promise:).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2009): Have you considered moving somewhere new?Or meeting someone new? they are probabliy the best bet.It will take some time to get over im afraid. Its good you are trying new things, are they challenging? Thats what you really need. Always look forward and try not to look back.Were you planning to always live in your village?
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