A
female
age
30-35,
*ubyrose
writes:Im new to dating - been seeing this guy for a bit over a month (we met online, im 21 hes 22). Im a virgin and am waiting to be in love, and also generally inexperienced with intimacy. on our fourth date we had our first kiss and make out session; our fifth there was a bit more making out (we were watching a movie at his house)- i only allowed him to "feel me up" above the shirt, although he tried to get under.. i am wondering how long i should wait until i let him get under the shirt- i need to know that he respects me (am a bit cautious about guys) and i dont want to move too fast with other things... so how long should i wait? (we're not exclusive yet btw)=)
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (9 November 2010):
 I second what chi girl said..it seems to be progressing each date, so what your 8th date you lose your virginity? No, it doesn't happen like that. You want Mr. Idle Hands to commit to a relationship before you give him the green light to tear your clothes. Slow it down, talk, get a chance to know him before you take off your shirt.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): he will really respect you if you wait until marriage
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 November 2010):
 You should definitely wait until you feel ok with it, and depending on your goals as far as the relationship go.
If you want a casual hook-up: let him feel you up all you want.
If you want a serious relationship: wait until you are EXCLUSIVE
If you aren't exclusive then you aren't in a relationship, and both of you could be hooking up with other people, and that would definitely classify you as nothing but something he gets on the side. If he is something you just want on the side as well, then thats ok. Just know what you want out of this relationship before you jump into anything.
Even after you are exclusive you can still wait until you are in love, thats a perfectly good way to do it. If you aren't in love after a couple of months though (usually takes less time) I don't think you and him are going to fall in love at all. Falling in love typically doesn't take long at all (for me personally it takes as little as perhaps 2-3 weeks).
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A
male
reader, Griffo +, writes (9 November 2010):
 Wait as long as it takes for you to be comfortable and ready. The trick is to not be too overly cautious with guys otherwise you'll end up losing eitherway. Talk to him let him know how you feel. Have you agreed yet to see each other more often? And do you spend time in public places such as shopping centres, events wiu friends or go to friends BBQ's, etc? The more he does things like that with you the more genuinely he wants to take things further in the relationship, you can tell he likes you just for who you are. But if your always in a secluded place, at home, at his place. Then it's pretty obvious he first wants to get into your pants. So be mindfullm of that.
Nobody ever said that you have to have sex first in order to begin a good relationship.
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