A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I took a gap year thinking that I could gain life experience and earn money before starting university. Admittedly, after all my friends left for university I felt ever so slightly isolated. The economic situation being what it was, work was nigh on impossible to find and after doing a few odd jobs here and there I decided to volunteer for work in a homeless shelter. The past six months that I have been doing this have been extremely interesting and insightful, I’ve made a lot of new friends and met some very interesting people. A month and a bit ago and a female volunteer started work and without running too far into obvious cliché we just seem to click and get on really well … needless to say I want to ask her out. My dating experience has been nothing too wonderful in the past, the relationship I did have with one girl (now a year ago) lasted for a few months and then petered out, so I’m not that well versed in this area as it were. What I am wondering is would it now, be appropriate to ask her out after little over a month of knowing her or, should I wait another month or so and then give it a go … thanks DC!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (21 June 2011):
Hi there. As you seem to get along well already, you might like to ask her out for a coffee at your local cafe.
That way, it's not a full blown date thing, so it's a bit laid back and rather relaxed.
Before asking her out though, over the next few days when you are both volunteering there, get to know her a bit more and about her interests (without it looking too obvious of course), and see if you think she might be interested in you in a romantic way.
Don't ask her - "Have you got a boyfriend?" - That's way too obvious. If she talks about 'we did this' or 'we did that', she could be referring to a boyfriend or maybe to a girlfriend/s. Don't ask who "we" is. Also too obvious.
So you will have to sus it out over time and see how it goes.
If she shows interest towards you and how she looks at you when you talk to her, and seems to intently listen to you. All the little signs that are there to give you an idea of how she might be feeling towards you.
You will pick up on it.
The main thing is, don't try to push things along too fast. Just see how things develop between you.
You will know soon enough if it feels right to ask her out. It will seem fairly obvious to you then.
When and if you do decide to ask her out - ask to take her to a cafe. That way you'll see how you get along when it's just the two of you.
Keep the conversation light and friendly. See if you can find some common ground - hobbies, interests, lifestyle, music, movies, books. Anything at all practically.
A big NO-NO is, don't talk about past your girlfriends and don't ask her about past boyfriends. It is not relevant. Just don't go there. It will cause nothing but trouble.
And the main thing is, just get to know each other better and what makes each other tick. Have fun, laugh and be happy.
Life is too short. Enjoy!
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