A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How long does it normally take him to say he loves you and mean it? I've been with my boyfriend for just over 2 months and I'm pretty certain he loves me as much as I love him, but I'm not sure whether to wait for him to admit it first or whether I should just jump right in there and say it myself. I don't want to pressure him however to say it if he doesn't mean it - he's been in a few unstable relationships in the past and is not a secure person, so this is why I feel I should reassure him, but it took him a year to say it to his girlfriend of 2 years, whom from what he says wasn't the nicest of people. I want him to know times have changed but neither want to pressure him nor wait too long and make him think I don't love him. What should I do?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, SelfConsciousBabe  +, writes (5 March 2011):
 I dont know, guess it just depends on how close and supportive you both are of each other. I mean I started telling my current boyfriend i loved him after 2 months and im thinkin now it may have been a bad choice, he says he loves me )over the phone) but in person, he never says at all, so i do know how you feel, i feel somewhat rejected but i guess all will flatten out in time and I'll soon know if he loves me or not
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (5 March 2011):
 You've been dating him for two months? It's WAY too soon to say you love him or to expect him to say it to you.
It takes time - a lot of time - to really get to know another person and discover whether or not the two of you are compatible. A year is not unreasonable.
You CAN, however, let him know you enjoy spending time with him, and express appreciation and support when he does nice things for you, and be supportive when he's going through a rough time........does he have a birthday coming up? That would be an opportunity to send a nice card - not necessarily saying "I love you" but something more like "Happy b'day to a special guy" or "Happy birthday to a great guy" something like that.
Just enjoy your time together, and don't ever use pressure on him! I'm serious: pressure is just about NEVER a good idea (especially as you know he's been in a few bad relationships before, and is not terribly secure).
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Babygurl81296 +, writes (5 March 2011):
Well my last boyfriend told me he love me after a year, because my friend asked me if i loved him, with him on the phone (and i didnt know he was on the phone) and i said i did. So i kind of said it. But my current boyfriend told me he loved me a week into our relationship. I think it varies from how much time you spend together and how close you are.
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