A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i have been seeing a this man for three years, he lives in another state. the first we pretty much talked and emailed one another. the second and third pretty much his vacations were at my home and my vacations and all of my summer were at his home. i have met his family and he has met mine. he is a very supporting guy a real treasure and I love him. he says that he loves me all the time he also shows it. not a day goes by that we don't talk to one another or make plans together. he does make statements about me being in his future. hOWEVER, when it comes down to discussing a relationship, he states he's not ready and that relationship(not marriage)takes time. so my question is first? what should my next move be? do I back off because I don't want to be an option and just remain friends. second how long does it take for a relationship to develop a committed one anyway. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (5 August 2010):
 If uve already spent 3 yrs with him as what a friend not even a gf..then he my dear will never commit to u. Because frankly, ur comfortable not being committed..but now u realize ur nothing to him so my question is why are u still hanging around? Forget him. To answer ur second question u cant put a time line on a committed relationship but i will tell u a long distance relationship is a committed relationship when ur bf and gf.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2010): You say you're seeing each other but he says that hes not ready for a relationship. You should really think about that statement.
You've spent 3 years talking and getting with this man, yet he says that he's not ready for a relationship? I'm guessing you'd think by 3 years, if y'all loved each other and met each others families, you'd already be in a "committed" relationship.
Relationships don't really have any specific timeline, they all happen along their own time. You just sort of know when a relationship is a 'committed' sorta thing.
You should really talk to him about it, in depth. If he throws the "I'm not ready" line at you again, say you need something more than just that, that you're confused about what you two are and such.
also, you should really sort all this out, you've spent 3 years waiting around for him (or at least thats what I'm getting from this question). I'd hate to hear that you spend a lot longer waiting on him when hes not willing to wait for you. it sounds a lot like hes keeping you hanging on as an option. sorry.
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