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female
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anonymous
writes: Me and my boyfriend have been officially together about a month. Before that we were "together", but not official for about that long too. So we've been kissing and stuff for awhile. In the second week we were officially going out, he wanted us to have sex. I said no, I'm not a skank and he was like that's cool, I don't want to do anything to make you uncomfortable. He hasn't asked since then, but we still do a lot of other stuff. I really like him, and I just wonder, does he just like me for sex or for me too? We hang out with my friends and his all the time, we aren't really alone all that often. He is the one that always wants to hang out too. How long should I make him wait before we do it, and how will I know he isn't just trying to get a piece? Also, all his friends have had sex with a few girls, he hasn't, is that maybe why he wanted to do it so bad? We are 16.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): i'm in the same situation; been with my bf for a week and nearly had sex last night but i said i dont want to rush things. you'll know when you're ready but until then, dont do anything you're not sure about..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): i think you should not even consider it with him, obviously he really wants it seeing as he asked you in the second week, i assume all his friends have had sex so he wants to have it too. maybe he does like you and you like him, but you need a lad to respect you and not ask you for sex after the first week, your are only 16, still a baby, go out with your friends and have some fun, not worrying about having sex with your boyfriend cause its a huge step and your first time should be special, the other advice i would give you is talk to your mum about it!!!
hope all goes well!!!
lisa xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2006): Its entirely up to you when you have sex cause your legal but i would wait, he seems to respect you for wanting to wait and there is no rush at all to enter into the adult world, be a smart 16 year old go out have fun get a good job and save the sex thing till your absolutely sure that 1) thats the person you want to wake up with until your old and grey and 2) will be a good role model to the kids you may concieve from the first time you have sex because you never know accidents do happen, please dont be a sheep in your group please be a leader and wait, it will show in the end if youve made the right choice.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2006): Hi there, I think your boyfriend likes you for you and not just to have sex, at least that is the way it seems according to your post...I think you should both wait, in fact I think you should not have sex until you are out of high school and on your own or maybe in college, and I think it should follow falling in love. You are not in love with this boy, I can tell from your questions and what you say here in your text.
There is a lot of pressure on young people to have sex in highschool, because it gives a false sense of maturity and sophistication.
Trust me once you give away this precious gift of your first time, you cannot get it back or undo it. There is plenty of time to grow up and become sexually active.
You want to have enough life experience to know who you are and how you feel without asking these kinds of questions of anonymous advice givers, if you are not mature enough to know the answers to these questions you are not mature enough nor responsible enough to have sex.
AND THAT IS OK.
The best part of any relationship is the friendship, respect and trust, and someday that may grow into passionate love and caring as well. Don't give yourself away too soon and for the reasons of curiousity and pressure to be cool. Wait and you will be glad you did.
Pregnancy is always a possibility and that will change your life overnight for the next 20 or so years, really for the rest of your life! Take your time, be a kid, have fun!
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A
male
reader, scarfaces19 +, writes (29 October 2006):
me and my gf has been 2gether just under a month and we both sed we wud wait till we are both ready. all ive gotta say is wait till ur both ready
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A
female
reader, Evangeline  +, writes (29 October 2006):
 If your unsure about what he wants from you, then I think its sensible to wait before having sex - you want to make sure your first experiences are with someone you really care about. You can normally tell what he wants by the way he treats you; for example if hes rude to you, whether he takes a non-sexual interest e.g. does he want to meet up with you if your planning to go out and therefore not have time to be alone or intimate.
The relationship will last longer if you do take things at a steady speed - this sounds old fashioned but it is true, this keeps him interested for longer and gives you more time to think carefully about what you want to do.
You must also take time to think about contraception and what to do if anything goes wrong - you've probably heard this a billion times but its actually a good way of judging whether he is generally interested it you. If you feel like its too embarrassing to talk to him about contraception and what to do if anything goes wrong then it is too early; if, when you bring the subject up with him hes immature about it or refuses to buy/obtain condoms from stores/family planning clinics because of embarrassement in a childesh way (i mean everyones a little nervous first couple of times - but if hes really immature), you can take it as a sign hes not ready. If hes got guts enough an cares about you enough to have sex with you he should have guts enough to face up to the consequences.
Personnally I would not even consider having sex with him before 3 months, ideally before 5-6 months of a relationship - if he wants to be with you, he'd understand.
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