A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:A man I've known vaguely for six months. I went out for a drink with him this eve. He was clearly into me. Body language, energy etc. He told me he feels empty and lost since breaking up with his girlfriend 2 months ago.So I assume he is just looking for something fun to fill the gap. He says he misses being in a relationship. Talked about our families, life dreams, meaning, music. Et Cetera. We just got onMy question is. ..I have liked him for six months but don't want to be used and abused by someone on the rebound. How long should I leave him to get over his ex? Do you think we should just become friends for now? .
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female
reader, MSA  +, writes (2 June 2014):
 This is a very interesting question.. many have asked this before, I have too. Majority of aunties and uncles will tell you that it most likely is a rebound and to be very careful.I agree.. but I also believe there are exceptions.. there's always exceptions.I met my current BF towards the end of his relationship with his ex. We were casual friends, we talked and we clicked amazingly well. We started dating immediately after they officially broke up. Of course there were lots of red flags... did I cause the break up? Is he using me as a rebound? Are we moving too fast? Doesn't he need time alone? He says they still talk and are friends, are they really just that? etc etc.. All these were serious questions and raised giant red flags. Him and I addressed my questions and concerns many times. Time and time again he reassured me that his breakup with his ex was not because of me; the relationship has run it's course. He reassured me I was not a rebound. He reassured me that him and his ex are just friends. I trusted him. It took A LOT of trust.. doesn't mean I don't question from time to time, but I still chose to TRUST. We've been together almost 6 months now.. and I'm more and more assured that I am not a rebound, that he is THE EXCEPTION.Look at how he is towards you - his words and his actions. Take things slow. You will know in your heart the answer you're looking for. Best of luck!
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 June 2014):
 Anonymous female: Makes no diff if he was the dumpER or the dumpEE.... the 75 days applies....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 June 2014):
 How long was his last relationship?
I think if he ended it 2 months ago, it's still raw. He MIGHT have been DONE with the relationship a long time ago, but once you are on your own you start to miss the intimacy (not just the sex part) and people TEND to look at their exes with more ... rose colored glasses. ALL because they MISS BEING with someone... and at that stage they will try with ANYONE to recreate the "happy days".
I'd be VERY cautious and take it WAYYYYYYY slow with this guy. Actually, I'd probably not date him if I were you, but you seem keen on him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2014): V funny sageoldguy. However he was not dumped, he ended it.
OP
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 June 2014):
It takes a minimum of 75 days before a guy or girl can get it on with someone who has been dumped....and NOT have to believe that they are a "rebound" sort of thing!!!!
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, nyackx  +, writes (2 June 2014):
 Hello dear you just waist your time the guy isn't on you but he still looking after his past and not ready to move on with you, he still have hope that he will have second chance to his ex
You rebounding darling live the guy before he hurt you. Just moveon and be strong for your self
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