A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I went out with a guy I've known for a while but we started talking differently recently so last night we hooked up and one thing led to another. He said he would be busy this week with work and he suggested we maybe hook up on Sunday. So how long do I wait for a text before I text him? What if he doesn't text? I'm a bit worried because it's been a while since I did anything like this and I'm not sure how it works.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 August 2018):
 What kind of text you are expecting exactly ?
because if you refer to the kind of text like " hey, how are you doing ? how was work today ? " , I think he'll skip that altogether. He gave you the hints " busy all week "
" maybe hook up Sunday ". So I guess you can wait for a functional text Sunday evening " You coming over tonight ? " UNLESS he has not made other more exciting plans in the meantime ( remember, he sad " maybe " ).
You can do the same, i.e. see if you can arrange something fun for Sunday with your friends, in which case you 'll tell him :
" Sorry, not available tonight "- or else, if it 's a lame Sunday and you have no better alternative than TV or Netflix you 'll tell him " Sure, I'll be there at 9 ".Or whatever.
I mean, I have got the strong impression that he wants to keep it casual, very casual. And if you feel the same, no big deal and no need for a texting etiquette . If he actually wants to hook up on Sunday- he'll let you know. If by Sunday he has not got in touch, you can either shrug, say " Ah well- next " ( after all, dicks are a dime a dozen ) or else, text him on Monday and ask him if now he's got time to , erm, get together. . According to your own level of interest and horniness.
You see, that's the problem with hook ups , and " one thing led to another " : that both people must be pretty chill and relaxed about it. Like, if he calls, fine; if he doesn't , fine too. If she wants to meet up, great, if she does not, ok, maybe some other time.
Instead, it sounds to me like you are already all a-flutter with palpitations : should he call, should I call, what if he does not call,... I am afraid that you have bitten off more than you can chew. If you hadn't invested any particular emotions in this guy , it would be all good: he calls, you call, nobody calls, it's the same, all you've got to lose is a night of fun and games . If you have invested more of yourself …. that was a bit naive , and very premature. Maybe you should have waited for him to show more interest than just " let's maybe hook up again one of these times ", which corresponds to some level of interest, but not really high.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2018): He said "hookup." Can't you take a hint? He's busy all week; so he isn't going to contact you that whole time. He was also telling you in a subtle way, "don't call me, I'll call you!"
If you were on his mind, you might have gotten at least a message since you had sex. Sex doesn't make you his girlfriend. There is no "time-served" or accumulated travel-miles counted towards a relationship; because you've known him awhile.
This isn't a romance; this is the beginning of a friends with benefits connection. When "one thing leads to another;" it's usually just sex. He had an itch, you scratched it! I would cancel Sunday; unless you're up for just another meaningless hookup.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (16 August 2018):
 What are you hoping for from this? If it’s a relationship I’d say there’s virtually no chance as this had started off on the wrong foot. To me it sounds like he sees you as someone to have sex with on a casual basis.
If that’s what you’re after then go for it, text him whenever, there’s no set guide. If it’s not, then use this as a lesson not to sleep with people as soon as you meet them, the majority of guys will see that as off putting and won’t see you as GF material.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (16 August 2018):
 I think it comes down to WHAT you are looking for. If you are JUST looking for a dude to hook up with, then text him whenever.
If you want more... consider that he might not be interested in more than just ex with you. Why do I say that? Because he doesn't make TIME for you. He doesn't say, it's going to be a busy week but I'd love to meet up for a drink after work or dinner... no he suggest some semi-vague - let's hook up Sunday...
So you REALLY need to decide what you want. you want to be his f-buddy... or are you looking for a BF?
Also make sure you use condoms EVERY TIME.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2018): I'm old school. If the guy is really interested in you, he will be the one to initiate. Women can be too aggressive with men. And in doing so, never know if the guy really likes them. Guys will take easy, free sex when it is convenient even if they aren't head over heels. He'll just be using you when he wants. And that won't change while you...fall in love.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 August 2018):
 He asked for another hook up which means he sees you as someone he can have sex with now and again! If he was genuinely interested in more he wouldn't be suggesting a hook up he would be wanting to take you out on a date! If you wanted something casual you wouldn't be worried about when to text him so I think you need to be careful you don't get hurt here.
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