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age
36-40,
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writes: I'll make a long story short, I've been with my boyfriend nearly a year. When I first began seeing him, he had been separated from his wife. We lived 45 mins apart, he and I slowly established our relationship. A couple of months in to the relationship, he told his two daughters he was seeing me. I also should add that my boyfriend is 20 years older then me, but I'm an old soul and he's a young soul. So it works. I'm 25, he's 45. Anyhow, his daughters didn't take too well to the fact he was seeing me, because they had hoped as any child would that their parents would eventually get back together. His one daughter is only a year younger then me, and the other five years younger. They weren't too happy with the age difference, but they got more used to the fact that we were serious. Six months in to our relationship, he asked me to move in with him..So I did. His daughters both live in two different states, so they aren't living in the house. Anyhow, I moved in which before I did, we discussed the whole thing and decided to have a talk with both the daughters about me moving in, he told them. Anyways, so like 9 months in to it the daughters still had no interest in meeting me, over thanks giving they came up to visit family for the holidays and his oldest daughter agreed to meet me. We had dinner with her, but I felt uncomfortable, I cannot explain why..I don't know if it's the age difference or what? His other daughter got sick (the youngest one,) so I was unable to meet her. I'm a bit nervous, because I'm supposed to meet her over Christmas, and he's proposing to me on Christmas Eve, my question is: How is the best way to handle meeting the youngest one? And, what if she see's the ring I'm wearing, from him proposing. He's not told either one of them he is proposing to me. We're not looking to get married right away, like a couple years down the road. I don't quite know how to handle the situation. Any suggestions would be helpful, or outlooks that are nice. Thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): You do not say whether he is still a married man??I agree with Soon, his daughters already have a name for you and they Are not off the mark. They just see you as their fathers 'woman-on-the-side" . Also this man is old enough to be your Daddy. So how about you respecting some boundaries and perhaps not forcing your 'stepmom' role , down their throats.All married couples have problems, the fact that he cheated on his wife with you, makes him even worse. The fact that he is consorting with a woman young enough to be his daughter is making his kids squirm. If they are squirming why aren't you?Age appropriate relationships is appropriate when people do not hurt others., and this man hurt his wife.LoveGirl
A
male
reader, soon567  +, writes (19 December 2010):
First of all you’re shacking up. You're living with a man who’s twice your age and that's what they’re looking at here. No way on god green earth would I be setting up, as he is. I have no problem with the age difference, but come on here, good grief you want them to respect you, more than respect yourself. Make it easy on his kids and at least marry the dude…what's the difference in what you’re doing now? Than walking into the local courthouse? My brother had a very nice girl and she was like family, she moved in with my brother and that was when my mother's opinion changed on her. Her time was limited and yours, just maybe, as well.If I was you I wouldn’t make a fuss or try to impress her, because they’re opinion of you would have to be low, to start with. I could see if you were getting married in a few months, but you’re talking about shacking up for years to come.You as his wife, they would associate it as such, but shacking up they’re going to associate his (their father) penis in you vagina. You may get a name to go with it. I bet even after you marry him that name will still be in their mind. They wouldn’t care if they’re doing the same thing, they’re looking at you.“How is the best way to handle meeting the youngest one?” The best way is for you to let him deal with his children and you keep your nose out of it. It’s none of your business. If they don’t like you then tough, you’re dating him not them.If you wanted acceptance then maybe you should thought about before you moved in.
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