A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This is kinda embarrassing but the head of my boyfriend's penis is not sensitive.. ie. he gets no pleasure from it. He has a small node of nerve endings on the shaft (close to the head)which he says feels really good. Is this normal? How do i go down on him? We haven't had sex yet.. he's a virgin I'm not. Will this affect sex? I've tried "asking" him what will feel good and i have been experimenting but nothing really gets him off. How is it possible that i totally am not doing it for him while I've been able to VERY successfully with other men? I know he is very into me and loves doing things to me. But I want him to get some once in a while.I'm not ready to have sex with him yet.HELP! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (26 January 2008):
 My pleasure. This little bump or "node" is this guy's frenulum, which means where most or all of the most sensitive nerve endings of the penis are located.
His seem to be concentrated in this one spot, whereas for many men (perhaps), the entire glans (head of the penis) is pretty much the frenulum.
For some, it is the area just beneath the corona (ring of tissue) around the head, or just below the urethal opening where the rim of the head comes together in a v-shape.
Generally, for most men I think, most any stimulation by the woman with her hands, fingers, lips, tongue or mouth on and around the glans is highly stimulating, and if continued long enough and well enough, alternating with insertion into her mouth, will result in ejaculation (thus, a "blowjob.")
The warmth and saliva inside her increases the sensations.
All this can bring the man to "the point of inevitability" where orgasm, with or without ejaculation, will occur. It's inevitable.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for those words of encouragement DoubleM!
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (26 January 2008):
A couple more thoughts here before I sign off on this. I care about you because I think you are beating yourself up over nothing.
You say you are between about 22 to 25 years old. You will not think so, but you have a helluva long life ahead of you and this guy that you are so "in love with" today may not be part of it.
I know you don't want to hear that, but try to face reality here. At your age, as it is with many of us, boyfriends and girlfriends will come and go before the right one comes along. I'm much older, but it was the same way back in the 60s and 70s as today. Oops, I almost revealed my age! lol
These days seem even more fluid in matters of love.
You say you have had sexual relations and he has not. I think you may be a bit ahead of this guy and that may be part (or most) of his problem.
Final words: It's NOT your problem! It's NOT you!
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (26 January 2008):
Well, darlin, you are NOT inadequate. The problem is with him, not you, if you are really trying to please. But no woman who is willing to try for her man is ever "inadequate." That's about all I can say.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess... I just feel inadequate that's all.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (26 January 2008):
Well, if he masturbates and cums then I guess he's getting what he wants.
If you want to share the experience with him, tell him you would like to see him masturbate, but instead of dumping it in the toilet or wherever, ask him to shoot into your mouth, or hands, or on your face or body or whatever you are comfortable doing.
Occasionally help him work it with your hands or mouth as well, but let him bring it to climax.
If you like to swallow sperm, that could certainly excite him enough to start letting you perform the service for him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey,
yeah he does masturbate and cum... but im no good at hand jobs. my arm gets tired. he never cums when i touch him. or go down on him.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (25 January 2008):
Well if it "sends him through the roof," as you say, doesn't he cum? I guess maybe you should just work it until he does. What ever works, but I don't think this is "dangerous" or anything like that if he is otherwise healthy. Does he ever masturbate and orgasm to your knowledge?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi,
no he says he just feels skin on skin and that it doesn't feel good when the tip is touched. It feels like how i would if i touched his hand for instance.
The node is not a growth or anything dangerous(I don't think)... it's just the nerves that connect together in a small bump. You can't really see it unless you really look but you can feel it.. and that sensation sends him through the roof.
Now I'm worried. Should I be worried about something dangerous?
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (25 January 2008):
 is he circumcised while your previous penis experiences were uncut? because if so the area around the circumcision scar could be sensitive(and maybe what he's describing)(or if he's not cut the banjo string {frenulum} from the head to the stem and where it meets the stem is really good) so go for that. The head may be sensitive but it might not feel pleasant
also every individuals is different yada yada yada...
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (25 January 2008):
It would definitely NOT be normal that the head of a penis has no sensitivity. I don't know if some kind of "node" has anything to do with, but a man's glans (the tip) is where most all of the sensitive nerves are located.
Some nice feeling extends to the scrotum and other areas, but it's concentrated where the ejaculation occurs.
A man's glans has about half the sensitivity of the head of a woman's clitoris, but it's about all we have and gotta live with it.
He may not be "getting off" because he feels nervous or somehow uncomfortable being a virgin. You sound fairly experienced - have you just tried a good handjob?
But this sounds a bit unusual to me.
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