A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:How important is income level to love? My friend who is really my boyfriend doesn't want to look at it that way lately because of money.I support myself, but he doesn't feel my finances are solid enough. I know that many relationships have foundered on this topic, but it's terrible because we are excellent together. I am trying deperately toimprove my income level, but he doesn't feel comfortable, he says.All these relationship manuals advise "ways to attract, rekindle, etc.",but they don't mention that most guys look at your job.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): This is the original writer of the question. I feel overcome with warm feelings
after reading the various responses, and they will really help me to sort out this problem and take a positive stance.
Thanks to all of you!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (1 September 2007):
 Love is a feeling, and I fail to see how being able to care for someone, and being cared after, has something to do with the kind of job you have or the money you make. He's making excuses because he doesn't love; he is just looking for "a better deal", and I'm afraid that in this case his definition of better is "with more money". He doesn't see you as a person.
Why would a man be so interested in how much money his girl makes? Hmmmmmm..... bad vibes here.
I say, you're far better off without him. Dump the bastard.
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A
male
reader, Jamer70  +, writes (1 September 2007):
 income is not important to love.
Though it is important to having a steady life with your partner and if you have a job a can support yourself, and if he has one you should be able to help each other. He sounds like hes making excuses.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2007): Good question. I guess it is not the income level so much, as is the Life Style. People who are use to a higher type income level have a Different Taste in Life, per say. Low Income level people, require less "Things" to make them happy. Mid Income Level people, like to have toys, and go places to feel like they have done something for all their time and hard earned money. Upper Income Level people, spend money because they can, and are use to it. The same as WE get in the car and go to the store.
However, I think at the same time, guys these days look at a woman's income to see how stable of a partner she will make. If she will pull equal weight in the relationship, as far as the money goes. Too, maybe to see if she is only out to get HIS money. A "Gold Digger," perhaps. Maybe, to see if he will also be able to support her likes, tastes, and her lifestyle.
Maybe, if he is better at handling money making decisions than you are, have him give you a list of his suggestions for lowering your bills and/or rasing your income. You may want to consolidate your finances. In the mean time, try to develop a Budget and stick to it. Don't spend over what you make. You may want to have two bank accounts to keep up with your spending. If you need to save $500/week JUST to Pay Bills, then put back at least that much in one account and the remainder in a seperate account for Gas, Fun, Doctor, whatever. Then, you know the money is there for what you need it for, or at least how short you are each week. Then, figure out what to do to get the remaining amount to pay the bills.
Unfortunately, "Money & Finances", is a BIG deal in any relationship. I have been married for 6 years, and it is still an argument and a headache. He wonders why everytime he gets a raise, there is still NO extra money going in the bank to be saved. The simple answer is, "The more you make, the more you SPEND!"
Hope you 2 can sit down and talk it out. Come up with a solution TOGETHER!!!!!
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A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (1 September 2007):
 You do have a job and you support yourself, what else does he want? I think he doesn't sound like a good man. I'm sorry.
Wish you the best!
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