A
male
age
36-40,
*icknack
writes:I recently found out that my girlfriend has a huge problem with me watching porn. I'm not addicted or anything, i only watch it maybe once a week.I tried to explain to her that its just a normal thing that guys do and it doesn't mean i love her or am attracted to her any less but she still hates it. should I be as frustrated as I am right now and how can I better explain this to her?
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female
reader, Dorkk +, writes (25 March 2009):
I'd definitely not be okay with this.
I made my bf stop. He didn't mind.
Just jack off to her or something else.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008): Would you be okay with your g/f looking at guys with huge penises and masturbating to it once a week?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): Haha I also thought this might be my husband writing! I can understand where your girlfriend is coming from. What she possibly feels is that she is never going to be the only one you have eyes for. For a lot of women, this means (to them) that you don't love them really the way they love you, or that you just don't love them as much as they thought.
Maybe this isn't what's going on with you, but to her, because of who she is, she thinks you looking at other women is hurtful. I'm the same way. Anyone who takes the "thinking is cheating" phrase to any real level (i.e. watching porn or masturbating while thinking of another person) will also agree with me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008): haha i'm beginning to wonder if the OP is my boyfriend lol he knows i despise porn. many women, including myself, can really be affected, especially if it has played negative roles in her past. no matter how hard you try to hide it, she'll still find out about it--u may let it slip in a conversation or may leave evidence laying around the house. many women try to understand and be more open to her man's habits, but many still find it difficult to open up to it. it can definitely cause future problems if not dealt with and cause self-esteem issues with women. it just depends on the woman. many are perfectly fine with watching a flick or 2 with their man and others believe it has no place in a relationship. give her time...it WILL take a while to heal, especially if it damaged her trust for you or her self-image
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008): She doesnt like you watching porn, so make the choice. do you prefer to masterbate, or make sweet love to her?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008): all men watch porn but if it starting to affect your sex life then its time he either stopped or seek help,if he dont dump him
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008): How does she know? why don't you try hiding it better? I wouldn't like it if I saw my b/f dirty magazines around his flat.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008): Easy drop the porn, before she drops you. Or along will come some other guy who will make her feel special and she will be gone.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008): I don't think you can......for many women knowing their boyfriend wanks off to porn throws them into a tailspin of why's. Why am I not enough, why would he need this, why does he do it when it hurts me so badly. I would suggest that you are honest with her and tell her that you have no intentions of giving up this 'habit' Let her make an informed decision on wether or not she wants to stay with you.....otherwise you are setting yourself up for weekly fights.
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A
female
reader, Hopeful Romantic +, writes (23 September 2008):
 When do you watch it? Do you watch it when she's around? How does she know you watch it? Is she against watching it with you? Would she consider having sex with a porn on?
See this confuses me because I am a female who does not have a problem with porn, but I do if it becomes a constant thing, but you say it's not with you.
Maybe consider telling her that you watch it as a learning experience to learn new moves and such - let her know you watch it to better your relationship and ask her if she would be willing to watch one with you.
All girls are different - some girls take offense to this, which it sounds like your girl does.
You have got to figure out how to reassure her that she is the one you want, no one else, and porn means nothing to you besides learning more about sex. (or something like that) - what do you think?
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