A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i really need some help and advise. i am currently travelling in australia. meet a guy who i have been friends for a few months and starting sleeping together a few weeks ago. i found out i am pregnant. he said he will help me whatever i decide but wants me to have an abortion. i am worried about how i am going to manage on my own, i will have no job when i get back to uk and who is going to employ someone who is pregnant! i also have nowhere to live and no money. i dont know what to do for the best! i still have so much i want to do in my life but i dont know if i can go through with a termination. please help this is the biggest decision of my life! annonymous, 23
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (5 August 2008):
 An abortion is a very personal choice and you should approach marie stopes for some non-judgemental counselling to sort out how you feel:
http://www.mariestopes.com.au/
Having a baby is HARD WORK, coming from mum of a 7 month old, and even harder work without a supportive partner. However it can be very rewarding too. It is a life changing event but it doesn't mean you have to have no life of your own afterwards. It may require putting those hopes and dreams on hold for a couple of years. As for money and housing, as a British national you will be entitled to welfare benefits upon return. Pregnant women who don't qualify for maternity allowance can be considered for incapacity benefit and you get child tax credit and child benefit. You would also get housing benefit to pay for accommodation and maybe you could apply for social housing at the council or a housing association.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): Hi, I don't think you should get an abortion. If you don't want to have a child right now, then have the baby and put it up for adoption. Or, you could keep the baby and just hire a nanny or something, daycare, anything but an abortion. If you get an abortion you might not been able to have a baby when you do want one. They are truly bad, they hurt your unborn baby and they wreck your body as well. Not to be blunt but, it was your mistake. Don't make your baby pay. You have to do what's best for you and your baby. Anyway, I am urging you not to get an abortion!
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Sweetheart, nobody can tell you what to decide, it has to be your choice. All I can say is that when I was 19 I got pregnant myself, and I knew because of the father, I was going to be on my own, but my choice was still to go ahead with the pregnancy.
I love my daughter dearly and wouldnt swop her for the world, she is now 28 years old and about to have a baby of her own. BUT, had I had any idea how hard it was going to be, I think I would have had a termination. I know that sounds an awfull and selfish thing to say, but I am trying to be honest.
It efected my whole life, and I dropped out of college. I would have had a very good career in the fashion industry, but gave up my dreams to have my baby. Life is so much harder when you have a little one to think of, especially when you face it all on your own. There is so much to take into concideration, things I never even thought I would have to deal with alone.
Please dont think I am trying to talk you into a termination, because in fact I think (know) that its an extremely hard thing to live with.
Just that you should think very carefully what will efect you the most. You will have loads of people that will say abortion is imoral, and in thier minds they will be right. But its not whats right for them, its what's right for you.
I wish you all the best darling, whatever you decide to do.
XXX
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