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female
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*onfusionz
writes:What kind of woman can make a man turn his back on his children and all his responsibilities?I am talking about my ex here. He has been with his new woman now for about 3 years and ever since it's as though he has no responsibilites or care for our child or any of his other children. When we were together there was nothing that could keep him away from his children. He always professed his love for them and how much they meant to him. How he could never leave them, not even for me, not that I ever tried to. But oh how times have changed since then. Whenever I try to call him at home and if she is around, he ignores my calls and text messages, claiming he didn't hear the phone or he didn't receive the texts. I am only calling for his help with our child but he makes no effort to return my calls or to see our son even though he son keeps asking for him and he only lives 5 minutes down the road. It's as though he has no responsibilities and whenever I call to ask for any kind of help it's as though I am bothering him. It is really frustrating and makes me feel like not bothering him but sometimes I need to get in touch as I do need some support and his son also wants to see him. Weeks could go by and he wouldn't even call to see how his son is. But yet he can be living with a woman he claims he doesn't love and who he says is not his type. Whenever I say I need to talk to him about our son, he always seems to be in a rush claiming he has work to do just to get back to her. I really don't know what kind of hold this woman has over him. She is not even your typical type of woman that a man would go for. She is neither pretty nor young. She has no children for him but yet she has even persuaded him to marry sometime this year. He just can't seem to leave her for 5 minutes. Even though he told me that he has no intention of marry her and that I am the only one who knows this. Ha, ha, very funny isn't it? The only thing I can think why he is with her is that she has a good job and earns good money. I think he likes the life style that she lives and seems to have things easier for him. But really is that a good enough reason for him to turn his back on his own. I would really like to hear from some of you men out there so that I can have a better understanding as to what his real motives are and why he finds it hard to be a good father to his child. I really cannot understand what this woman has that he can just disregard one of the most important things in his life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007): I can totally understand where your coming from regarding your son. My father left my mother after 15 years of marriage for me i was ok as i had my motherly figure but for a boy he needs his father. U need to try and sit and resolve a plan when he will see his son even if it is only once a week its better for your son to get some structure in his lfe when he will see his Dad. It seems your ex has moved on and it was the same with my father he moved in with another women who he left my mother for and we blamed her for not seeing us when really it him. Try and talk as adults for the sake of your son but leave it then and move on with your life. If he doesnt want his son its his loss but he will in time. Good luck.
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reader, AskEve +, writes (28 February 2007):
 Okay, I'm not male but I'm going to give you my opinion nevertheless. YOU are no longer part of his life, your son is! He has moved on now, it seems to me you still want him and are jealous of the fact he's with this new woman. What does it matter whether they get married or not? It's none of your business. What does is matter his motives for marrying her, that's none of your business either.
I get the impression you're using your child as an excuse to call him up. You can't MAKE a man have a relationship with his child, no matter how close he lives to them. As long as he's being responsible and paying maintenance for your son then that's the main thing. It's sad if he doesn't see his son or try to build a relationship with him but as he'll be the one who loses out in the end but you can't force this.
I think if your ex was to write his feelings down here there would be another side to this story. Get on with your life, your ex is getting on with his. If he wants to see his son he knows where he is, DON'T force the issue and keep calling him up all the time using your son as an excuse, MOVE ON!!! I know this isn't what you want to hear but it's the fact of the matter.
Eve
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