A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why do men find it so easy to move on? I was in a relationship with a wonderful man for almost 2 years and we split in march. We were madly in love but due to circumstances beyond our control (which I won't go in to,) we decided the best thing we could do was break up. We tried to stay friends but couldn't as we always ended up telling one another we loved and missed eachother etc when it could never be, so we decided to end all contact. It has now been almost 5 months since we spoke and I still think about him every day, he is the first person I think of when I wake up and the last before I go to sleep. I find myself day dreaming of times we shared together and seem to be able to link everything I see or do back to him in some way. I am doing my best to move on, I am keeping busy, throwing myself into my work and have even been on dates, although no one I've met even comes close to him. From the outside, to people who don't know me well it probably looks like I'm happy and carefree but those who know me well know what a daily struggle it is for me. We are still facebook friends and he seems so happy and appears to be getting on well, he is always out enjoying himself, has had various pictures added with different woman, is openly flirting with women and seems to be having the time of his life! I have tried contacting him a few times over the last few months (nothing for over a month now though) but he won't answer my calls or reply to my texts. How has he found it so easy to move on when I still cant?
View related questions:
facebook, flirt, move on, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 November 2012):
 People don't move at the same speed and not always use the same methods to "get over" someone or "move on".
I think the reason he will NOT accept your calls is because he believes that NO CONTACT is the best way to "get over" you. ANd I think he is right.
YOU need to stop "stalking" his Facebook and try and contact him. IF IT IS OVER, then it is OVER. And by constantly looking to see what he is up to you are holding yourself back from moving on. You are starting to obsess.
Being "friends" with an ex is overrated for most people. Mainly, I think, because it's not really friendship they are wanting or looking for - it is to HOLD on to the past. So in my honest opinion, STOP looking at his Facebook - unfriend him if you have to. And try and live in the now. No contact is the way to go.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2012): I think what bronze adonis said about the cause of you guys breaking up, may have a lot to do with it may be true. You dont want to mention that. If deciet,lying or cheating was involved then of course he will want to move on. You should both move on if you dont want to be or cannot be together.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2012): like you said if someone didnt know you theyd assume your happy and have moved on but deep inside its killing you it could be the same for him, he knows you can see his photos maybe he wants a reaction. Hes not with anyone else so he cant have completely moved on yet.
if seeing him getting on with life is hurting you then maybe its best to delete him from facebook
...............................
A
male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (24 November 2012):
 He may not be living the life that you think he is. He may not have moved on. Only he will really know that. If you are not getting back together, is it not better that you "both" move on anyway? Also, sometimes the reason for you breaking up can determine how fast someone moves on. You have got to really want to move on.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2012): "How has he found it so easy to move on when I still cant?"
Speaking as a guy, my initial reaction is that like many charming scumbags he was just using you, telling you whatever you wanted to hear in order to get you to sleep with him.
When it became obvious that "staying friends" and "telling you he loved you" weren't enough to weasel his way back into your affections and your bed, he decided he could get what he wanted (regular sex without obligation or commitment) elsewhere with less initiative and effort required.
If he was as madly in love with you as you profess to be with him, then he wouldn't have let "circumstances beyond your control" to break you up in the first place. Sorry, but he's not the guy whom you wanted to believe he was, unfortunately it seems like you've been played.
...............................
|
