A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i am looking for answers.my wife had a little fling with another man recently that she says was only a kiss.i don't believe her.she will look at me in the eyes and swear on her kids life and god.has anyone ever heard a woman say this and not even mean it?can a person be that messed up by saying something so strong but still continue to lie?i am afraid she did infact have sex and the reason she doesn't want to tell everything is because she thinks that i will divorce her and try to take the kids.she acts like the kids are her life but sometimes i wonder if she is a good mom.another reason i think she wouldn't tell me is because she thinks it will cause more coflict between me and the other man.my wife was raised by a single mom because her dad left when she was 3.i can tell that growing up without a father figure is something that has bothered her.i fear that is another reason she may not reveal the entire truth.is she scared that if i know what, her kids will be without a father figure?maybe im being paranoid but my gut tells me theres more to the story.here is why i can't seem to let this go.reason1:she had unexplainable large bruises on her shoulders the night she came home when she claimed it was only a kiss.reason2:she had white flaky stuff on the bottom of her back that looked like dried cum.she claims it was skin peeling from a hot water burn and i know that DID happen 2 days prior when she was taking a bottle out of the microwave.the day after i saw the white stuff that she claims was from the burn, it was all gone.the bottom of her back looked perfect again.can little water splash burns heal that fast?reason3:she says if i ask her anymore questions she will leave me.9 years ago when i met this woman she was just getting out of a 3 year relationship.the very first night i went to her house i put my hand on her leg and she was aroused that fast.the next thing i knew she was asking me to do her doggie style.she had a condom already beside her bed stand.that kinda scared me cause i never had a woman give me the condom.in the beginning of our relationship she told me she was with 5 men before me.just last year she said there was something she needed to tell me.she then went on to say how she was with 24 men before me.is she having sex or not?what can i do to find out?
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male
reader, wonderingallthetime +, writes (18 April 2009):
I had a wife just like what your talking about. She would lie and lie and lie no matter how obvious it was . She did this for two years one time. Yes some people can and will lie to you no matter how obvious and then try to make YOU look like the bad guy if they can. Its weird and its been over two years since she lied about a guy and it still puzzles the hell out of me as to WHY when she would change her story four times and caught in two dozen other lies. It dont matter if you walked in and saw them, she would try to get out of it. She would yell rape or something. Mine came home one morning and said , " yes" I met a guy and yes we had sex. Three days later she said he had sex with her but she didnt want to. Yes, she said she was raped. He was black and I think that was the main reason for yelling rape. But she took him fruit a week later and saw him at least a dozen times in the two months to come with countless phone calls. I sent the guy one of her emails to me where she said he raped her. Yep, he was pissed, but she still says she was raped and was terrified of him so she pretended to be friends with him.
Your wife didnt have dried or burnt skin on her back man. and you know that. It hurts I know but you gotta get rid of her and the problem she has or you will never be happy or have anyone . I know . We went to a shrink and one time he told me he coudlnt emphisize how deep the fear goes in these people . He was right. It will ruin you life, and you cant fix it. You dont want to leave I know, but its a hard and painfull thing you have to do if you want to have a chance to be happy
A
male
reader, Roswellvato +, writes (3 November 2008):
"she had white flaky stuff on the bottom of her back that looked like dried cum.she claims it was skin peeling from a hot water burn and i know that DID happen 2 days prior when she was taking a bottle out of the microwave.the day after i saw the white stuff that she claims was from the burn, it was all gone.the bottom of her back looked perfect again.can little water splash burns heal that fast?"
Damn skippy that was cum bro!And bruises on her shoulders too? Sounds like you wife got doggie styled but good. Women that are clinically depressed often seek out other men to be fulfilled both in emotion and sexually. Yes she does need some very serious help and fast. You also need counseling to deal with this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008): Why prolong the agony. I had my wife followed because i suspected her of cheating.Right enough she went to a blokes house when she said she was going to the gym.I confronted her and she said she went to the gym. Then when i said she didn't, she said she went for a drink with a female friend, then when i said she didn't, she said she went for a drive around because she had something on her mind, then when i said she didn't because i knew she went around a blokes house, she said, he was just a friend and nothing happened and she didn't tell me because she knew how i'd react. Yeah right i saw the solicitor the next day.Move on and find someone new.
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A
female
reader, lost and lonely +, writes (29 October 2008):
 Hi, Im a lady, but I read what you wrote about your wife, and from my past experiences I think your right, I have never messed around on my spouse but my spouse did , He really hurt us, all I could do to find the truth was to listen to my heart, and thats what Im telling you Listen to Your heart for it will tell you the truth. And if you really do feel this in your soul its got to be true then, and also why if it wasnt true would she say she would leave you, if you didnt stop asking her that, I think your right, Im pretty sure she did, maybe she does love you but is permisquis I want to say, or possibly she is terrified that you would leave her, and divorce her as well, If you really love her and dont want a divorce then give the problem over to god and let him have the problem , dont do to yourself what I have done to myself, and that is drive yourself crazy, always wondering or never believing or ever having that trust again. my husband killed himself almost 4 yrs ago and Ive been alone since. Im afraid of being hurt or lied to anymore, so I do understand where your coming from. If you have more that you want to talk to me about , Im right here to listen to you, and this will be kept between the two of us,. that is a promise,.I am logged in as lost and lonely. so you can mail me. if you need someone to listen to you... I hope that I could help you, in easing your thoughts some, if any at all, just dont do anything dumb, if you dont want to lose her... good luck.. lost and lonely
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A
male
reader, benefattore +, writes (29 October 2008):
 Rarely, in this society these days, does it ever "just end with just a kiss goodnight." You need to have a SERIOUS talk with her and make sure she isn't lying to you. It's bad enough she kissed. That shows her lack of devotion and respect to you right there.
One of my lady friends cheated on her boyfriend with another guy, and when confronted she said "they just kissed" and broke it off before things got too out of control.
I'm not saying your wife is 100% cheating, but you have to watch your own back because long distance relationships are extremely hard. The longer she spends time with other guys, the more likely her feelings for you will dissapear. If you're not emotionally and physically there for her, she will find comfort else where.
Good luck... you're in a crappy position and there's not much help anyone online can give you.
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A
female
reader, easternkygirl +, writes (29 October 2008):
i'm so sorry to hear your going through this. from everything that you have said, it sounds very, very, very suspicious to me. it sounds like she is DEFINITELY hiding something for sure. and i'm a firm believer in trusting your gut feelings, if your gut feeling is telling you that something is wrong, then you have to trust it. and she may be so scared of losing you and her children that she would swear on everything, it IS possible that she would do that. the best advice that i know to give you is to "keep your eyes and ears open" and what i mean, start listening to everything she says and does, but don't let her know you are doing this, and in return, if she is lying, (i think she is) then you will start noticing inconsistencies in her stories or you will catch something that you missed before. i'm telling you this from my own experience with my husband. i really hope this helps you, let me know if you have any other questions , i will try to help in any way i can because i've been in your situation and know exactly how you feel. i wish you the best of luck.
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