A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Was with my boyfriend for about 6 years.. and it was a long distant relationship. He broke up with me because i called him a wrong name.. and he was helping me a lot with finances. Not only calling him a wrong name he says he felt like a door mat and he got burned.. financially and emotionally. Its been time now I have adjusted the things that he felt uncomfortable with and I can see his point of view.. about 8mths have passed so some time..the last time we talked he did say that he misses me and that he does care and he does want to see me again.. but he says that what happen affected him a hell of a lot differently then it affected me and that hes never been so pissed off in his life before and that i lost a huge chunk of trust. I did ask him if he feels he can move past this and overcome this with me and he said if you dont bother me with it because the situation is annyong already thats what im trying to do..but i dunno 8mths...so i just give him space mostly he ignores me a lot of the time anyways so i just leave him be, if he wants to talk he knows where im at.. and ill respond if im around and available, but mostly he ignores me even when he sees that im online, but i know a lot of guys ignore when there angry and unhappy with someone might be awkward even or maybe just wanting to move on i dunno. I asked him before about the ignoring he says hes busy.. but thats partial true partial an excuse. But if hes angry i expect it, so i just leave be mostly chat rarely. I would like to work this out and I have expressed that to him at one point.. maybe i scared him off cause he ignores me a lot..he says that "he doesnt want anything because he is burned". I am going on vacation to his area for thanksgiving and I asked him how he feels about coffee and he says he can do coffee. The hotels were too expensive about 100-200 a night and so I told him if u want to see me then I need a place to stay for the week.. and he said you can stay here. I hope that didnt put to much pressure... I would like to talk about this in person cause far away isnt going to help anything. Plus even if we did get back.. and he knows this we have to fill the gap of distance to make this work better.. six years is to long distant but i also understand it would have to go slow and it doesnt start where it left off thats fine for me again its really up to him at this point so far looks Dim. But he may still just say he doesnt want anything.. The coffee discussion was strange because I said well il lstay on the couch and its just to have fun and enjoy my time there.. and we can talk. And I said so its just coffee.. and he said well im sure it can be coffee and more.. but i quickly said well there is no sexual matters at this time he said well just dont expect much at first when u first come right but im sure itll get better.. i dunno... what to think here but hes back to ignoring me since this convo... What do you guys think here?? What can I do at this point? I am just trying to be friendly now.. and not pressured, but is the visit to much.. I do want his happiness and I am ok if things never work out.. I do admit though that I love this man and I have evaluated everything and still feel that this man is a good pick for me and the future.. if of course he felt the same. Again he does say he doesnt want anything ....I am respecting this and even if i go and hear the same thing I am respecting it.. but is it so bad to try.. is this to much of a chase... when u really believe in someone and believe in what u share..
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks I agree it is about how much and how long i want to take it.. I think after coffee more becomes clear for me, I plan on having a good time..and enjoyng my wonderful vacation with my good friends there..I wont really see him much.. he works a lot that week so he wont be in much.. Ill be out mostly.. even most nights. So it will be up to him to pursue anything after the coffee.. :)
A
female
reader, Jenniferdz7 +, writes (7 October 2008):
This is really on how much are you willing to give. Space is great for him at this point. And it sounds like he cares for you and you both have been going for 6 years. There is a lot in this relationship. Maybe he is trying to see if you can handel things on your own. And maybe he is trying to evaluate on what he can handel right now.
Long distance relationships are hard no matter what happens.
But it goes back on what you can take and how long are you willing to give him time.
This is similar to my ex and I. He did not want anything either, but I could not wait forever for him. Our relationship was only a year so it dose not have the history that yours dose.
But you will have to ask him if he stills cares for you and dose he just need time with this relationship.
But it is mostly how much you can give also.
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