A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Does anyone else worry a little that they will never be able to afford a child? I am still on the younger side so I know I have a couple of years to figure it out before my clock starts ticking, but I wonder how we will ever get there.We do okay for the two of us, but we certainly couldn't afford to support another person. I'm 27 and I find myself side-eyeing my cat when the rent is due because she's an extra $50/month! I can't imagine supporting a child from infancy to 18 (in theory--it could be even longer than that). And I don't want to have a child if I have to put them in daycare (personal preference) so if we can't afford a child on both salaries, how could we afford a child on one?One of my good friends just had a baby, and this all just got me started thinking. I say I don't want a baby anytime soon, but the trust is I know I can't afford to so I don't want to get that idea in my head.And if anyone here is pregnant or a mom themselves, do you mind sharing how you budgeted to get to the point you are at?
View related questions:
want a baby Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 April 2013):
 I guess you have to define average.
When I was 24 I had my first child. I was a stay at home mom. But my then husband made a decent living and we did not go on vacations, we did not have cable, there were no such things as cell phones yet... so no cell phone bill etc.
Now I do not know of any average family where the wife stays home.
I have one set of friends that the wife works just to put the baby in day care because she needs to drive her husband 90 minutes from their home to his job (he cannot drive) If he could drive himself she would stay home with the baby
I have one co-worker who the only reason she' can't stay home is they are paying off 6 figures of student loans...
I think that most people realize that they will have to give up certain things to have a child... vacations tend to go, but then you don't have as much time anymore anyway.
so I did not buy new clothes for me and if I did it was at Walmart or the like...
we did not eat out and I learned to make easy multi-meal casseroles.
I breastfed totally so no bottles no formula ever. solids were started later and were just mashed up versions of what we ate.
diapers... I preferred cloth with a diaper service for my second one but my first one could only wear disposable (anything we washed cloth diapers in (including ivory) irritated his skin)
we had good insurance for well baby care and pregnancy
so maybe you drive your car for 10 years instead of 3...
and you save a bit less....
and you can't buy the house you want so you live a bit farther from work to afford a home vs an apartment.
If there are active grandparents lots of times they help a lot... my parents did.
what i was told over and over is if you wait till you can truly afford it you will never have a child.
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (24 April 2013):
 As others have said, kids don't have to be ridiculously expensive. Yes, disposable diapers cost a fortune so you can try using traditional cloth diapers (although we tried that and concluded that Pampers were worth it). You don't have to buy Gerber, it's easy enough to puree fruit yourself. We didn't set foot in a restaurant, take a holiday or even go to a movie when the kids were little so we saved a bunch of money that way. You find that you make do with what you have. As they get older and want to participate in activities you'll have moved up the corporate ladder a bit so you'll be able to afford more. You just have to be attentive to your budget and your income and it will work out fine.
...............................
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (24 April 2013):
Kudos to you for being so responsible and diligent before having a child. Unfortunately, many people dont do this and it ends up costing the responsible people in society plenty.
Honestly, just by virtue of you asking the question tells me you are responsible enough and resourceful enough to make it work. Good luck to you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2013): Hi,I had unplanned twins that caused major career disruption.Unfortunately their father and I separated and it has been a financial struggle ever since - but we have managed and travelled and in some ways I am glad I have limited financial resources, as they have learnt the value of money. I think your question is really good, and there are so many options - you could work from home- be a child minded yourself- work some nights while your partner is homeIn a loving committed relationship it should be all okay.My best advice to you is have children with the right man, as a loving supportive family is far more important to a child than material things.I look back and realise the things my children appreciated most were the happy memories of the things we did, not the material things I bought them.However I think your question is sensible as poverty and children is a miserable place. I wish you luck x
...............................
A
male
reader, Glacier  +, writes (24 April 2013):
You should think twice before having children really. There are so many negatives about having kids.
Search for 'The Top 100 Reasons Not to Have Kids (and Remain Childfree)'
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2013): Kid's don't have to cost you a fortune, and by the time they do hopefully your career prospects have improved. We buy used clothing from second hand stores and ebay and our kids dress like we have a lot of money but we spend the same amount of money as we would if they wore Walmart clothes. Diapers are expensive, so use reusable ones. Buy baby furniture on Craigslist. Breast feed, don't buy formula. You can also try to find an Internet job so that you can work from home. My wife had one and it was a life saver. Recognizing how expensive it can be, the government is willing to help to some extent as well. You may be able to qualify for any number of programs, such as food stamps, child care assistance, WIC, and more. If you're poor now and you don't start making more money, you'll definitely be poor with a kid. Once they start going to school you can begin "moving on up" yourself and have a dual income home.
...............................
|
