A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:what next? I moved countries 10 years ago to be with my then partner, now husband...from the time i moved in with him our relationship was never the same. It was as if he didn't have to "try" anymore. At the end of our first year together, I was toying with the idea of ending the relationship and going back home, but I found myself pregnant. So I decided to work at building a life with him and our baby. During these years he has always been distant and cold towards me, we haven't been close physically, mentally or emotionally. I feel that I have tried all kinds of ways to keep going. From the outside we look like the perfect family, however, I feel that in the last couple of years he's become disrespectful and sometimes I have felt that I'm not safe. Recently, I was diagnosed with Anxiety and Panic attacks. I have been in therapy for 4 months and it has dawned on me that the source of my anxiety is the state of my relationship with my husband. In short, before therapy, I was dreading the future. I have since addressed these issues with him and have moved to a separate bedroom. I often feel the desire of moving away, however,I can't bear this thought, how does one move on, when there is nothing left to do?...
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female
reader, Smellyellie  +, writes (12 June 2009):
 It sounds like you really don't want to be with this bloke so why are you still living in the same house as him. I know you may be in a differnt country away from family but surely you have friends you can go and stay with and there are plenty of houses or flats you can rent.
If you are remaining in this relationship for the child then please don't do it, it will effect the child in the long run and make you and your husband more angry with each other as the child may start to resent you.
As for moving on you can only do this when you feel ready. You say you don't feel safe with him then why are you still there? He is obviously causing you alot of stress and any relationship that makes you have anxiety and panic attacks isn't worth it. Believe me I used to have attacks similar too and I know how horrible they can be.
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