A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Can I ask everyone, if they gave up on a long term relationship, and how they knew the time had come to say goodbye. We have been together nearly four years and he has just stopped making the effort. I have suggested several meets and he always cannot do but he continues to text me. He has never said about a commitment.I didn't contact him at all yesterday as I was really busy and he only said night with several kisses I didn't respond as I was enjoying the peace of not trying with him. This morning it was one hundred and twenty questions as to why I didn't contact him. I know what he was hinting at and I should be so lucky. He recently told me of a story that happened at work a couple of months ago and his words were "someone thought I was gay because I was talking about an ex partner, and they knew I was single and because I didn't refer to a wife or fiancee. I wanted to shout what about your present???? and your not single. Today I have contacted him and suggested a meeting for coffee and all I got was ok, and he meant he had registered I wanted to meet for coffee. I have suggested a time but still nothing. I know tomorrow he wont go and now at the point of saying I will be at, at 12pm and will wait 10 mins if you don't turn up then do not contact me again. Half of me wants a row so I can say goodbye but the other half of me knows I will regret it. I am due to move in, the next couple of weeks and feel that this is the best time to move forward and find a guy who just may want to date and settle with me.Just need some advice please.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2015): HiI didn't make a conscious decision. After five years of splitting up many times, I finally just felt as if I had hit a brick wall and could no longer continue. It wasn't what I wanted as I still loved him, but knew I couldn't take any more. Maybe this will happen to you. If you are strong enough to end it now, all the better, as there doesn't really seem to be a relationship there anyway. You may feel as if you're going to regret it, but this is no way to continue and once you're over missing him, you will feel free, alive and excited by the future and maybe a bit cross at the amount of wasted time you've given this person. He sounds as if he is playing some sort of game with you and really doesn't like it when you don't play the role alloted to you by him. If you already know that he won't even bother meeting you for coffee and he let you know that he calls himself single at work, what are you waiting for? Please do yourself a favour and try to finish it
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn answer to a question. I see him three weeks ago. He is currently off work and I don't live in a place that easy to get to via bus. But that is no excuse in my book.
He has now accused me of cheating which probably means he is.
We are now not talking, so I suppose that is that.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (9 April 2015):
 When was the last time you two saw each other in person?
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A
female
reader, Keeley345 +, writes (9 April 2015):
Sometimes relationships end abruptly without reason but sometimes...they just come to an end as time goes on. For one reason or another.
Either the spark has gone or something has happened and you just can't find it in you to try any more even if your partner wants to. Sometimes both of you don't want to try anymore. Then the decision to end the r/ship arises.
Is the spark still there between you? Does it work both ways? Do you want a r/ship with this guy and vice versa? If so you need to talk to one another asap to decide the way forward. If however in your own heart you feel there is nothing left and you're really looking at a future without him, then it's safe to say the r.ship is over.
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A
female
reader, Aileen +, writes (9 April 2015):
I'm sorry to say but your relationship is over. He isn't meeting you and he has told you that he's told coworkers that he's single. That is his cowardly way of telling you that he's single. He doesn't want you, he just wants to know that you're waiting for him which is why he got cross when you didn't text him. If I were you I would text him that you want to meet a man who is emotionally an adult and you don't feel that it's him. Don't upset yourself with the whole "I'll wait 10 mins" thing cos we both know you'll wait half an hour and then an hour and then you'll text him. It's what he thrives on. Don't give him that. Be better, be stronger. I promise you there is a wonderful man out there waiting to sweep you off your feet but you won't meet him while you're wasting your time with this joker! Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 April 2015):
 You can say goodbye without a row, without a fight.
He ISN'T seeing you as a partner. He calls himself single and doesn't even mention you at work. AFTER 4 years?
I'd say he has already "left" the relationship but is texting out of habit.
And I would not do the "dramatic exit' with the whole show up at XX place at XX time or it's over.
I would just tell him that you feel the relationship has run it's course.
Whatever you DECIDE... DO NOT move in with him. YOU will be the build in maid, cook and caretaker.
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