A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I want to ask my husband to move out. We have been having problems for a really long time, and I recently found out he went out of town with another women, and it seems like now would be a good time for him to leave. But how does it work? I'm a house wife/ student. How am I suppose to make the mortgage payments through the separation? He has spent all our money, so we have nothing in savings. I called for couseling, but the therapist I recommended to, can't get us in for a month. I can't wait that long to take action. Am just suppose to get a job and pray I can find child care and finish school? If i had child care, i probably would be working, or finished school. It seems like my husband and found a way for me not to work or get an education, so I would be dependent on him. Now I don't know how to get out. Please let me know!!Also do I need to get anything done leagally? I hear people file for separations, and start divorce proceedings, but how?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): i am going thru sep. although my year was up in march we haven't filed for divorce. we were going to sit down and do ours between us but everytime i ask him if hes ready he says he don't have time. I am at a stand still because I don't have 1300.00 to file with. I am not going to lie and say its easy to live alone its not. my husband locked me out of our house in march of 2008 and i have been doing everyting alone ever since including caring for our two kids. in my honest opinion i would not ask him to move out until you have all your duck in a row. that would be a bad move since you don't have financial means or child care right now. i did have a job which was alot of the problem in my marriage he didn't like that i became nondependant on him. when i started work one of my kids was in school and the other i put in daycare which was located down the road from my office. My husband didn't pay one dime on my sons daycare i had to pay every penny from what i made. which was about 120.00 a week. if you are wanting him to get out i would either get a lawyer to file sep. papers which you can have in there that he has to give you support for you and your children. If he has cheated and he is at fault then you are entitled to spousal support. thats the law in NC. I don't know what the laws are where you are. I would try to get a job atleast part time so that you can save some money. Look around for childcare that is the cheapest. maybe a relative or friend that you know really well and are trustworthy to be with you kids alone. Don't just leave them with anyone. It is going to be a challenge but i know that if i can be pushed out of my home that is of course his family home and make it this long then you can to. i am about your age so i do know where you are coming from. I would not make any moves until you are finanically stable. could you message me please I would like to discuss something with you privately.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): If I were you I would sort all of this out before you ask him to leave. In your seperation you will recieve child support if the child stays with you but usually it takes some time to get that started. As far as the divorce goes, you can contact your local legal aide office or you can even get the proper paperwork online and file yourself. It isnt very expensive to do it that way and it explains what to do step by step. I see that you live in the US, there is help here for single student moms. They can help with food, rent, child care everything. If you'd like more info on how to get all that please feel free to PM me and I would be happy to share it with you. If you are that unhappy there is a way out! Its just going to take a few steps, but I can help if you'd like. Good luck to you.
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