A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 17 year old boy, until now i haven't meet a girl or been in a relationship, i don't know how to find a girl, sometimes thinking about it stresses me, i'm from northern of iraq (in Kurdistan) I'm in a boy's school, so where should i go and what should i do to meet girls? And i'm not ugly i have a good face and i'm muscular i have also worked out for 5 years, any ideas? guys i need adivice ... Thanks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 June 2016):
 My previous answer was removed, and, although I could not see why, I am a good sport, and I would not have insisted in giving my unwanted opinion, if I did not feel that the well meant answers he is receiving are not only ineffective but can possibly be actually dangerous for this boy and for the girls he should try to contact.
The poster's flag is from Iraq. He says he is from Iraqi Kurdistan and since he does not mentions having emigrated , I am assuming he is still there.
Iraq is a 99% Muslim country- you don't " date " in Iraq, it is " haram ", forbidden. Both by religion and social mores.
In Iraqi Kurdistan female genital mutilation still concerns about 75 % of all women.
Marriage are arranged in the wide majority of cases. Although " modern " couples can spend time together- in the presence of some adult relative.
Honour killings are common but rarely prosecuted and when they are the maximum sentence is 3 years.
The structure of society is patriarchal , with the majority of households still being extended families under the authority of the oldest male who retains the economic power and decides who studies where, who marries whom, etc.
No, there aren't " plenty of places " to hang out with girls in Iraq and least of all in Iraqi Kurdistan - there aren't any.
And definitely there are no pubs.
Of course there's always the magical world of Internet, and even in Iraq , young people will resort to it to approach strangers- discreetly and on the downlow, because that's frowned upon too , and particularly for a female, it could have dire consequences.
I would not encourage this boy in his efforts to mingle with the opposite sex, admitting he had the actual chance to do that- that might very well get him expelled from his school, or get his a.. kicked badly by some disgruntled father .
Every culture has its rules and what's the most natural thing of the world in, say, USA - might be impossible in other places.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 June 2016):
 You are 17, you should not be worrying about this, you are still very young and you still have plenty of time. Try not to stress out over this, as there is plenty of time.
You are in a boys school for now, but what will you be doing when you leave that school? Will you work? Further your education?
There are plenty of ways to meet a girl, and believe me they don't always go by how you look, so you need to improve your confidence as well. Hang out with your friends and see how they meet girls, join clubs and hobbies. When you are old enough you may meet a woman in a pub. Your two young at the moment to be worrying about this, enjoy your youth.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (4 June 2016):
You are only 17. This should not stress you out at your age. Many people have not had a relationship at the age of 17. The important thing is to develop your confidence talking to girls. Do you have a sister? A close cousin? Perhaps ask them to introduce you to some of their friends so that you get used to talking to girls and starting to feel more relaxed around them. How easy it is for you to meet girls does depend on how much the sexes mix in your culture. Are there mixed-sex clubs you could join, for example? A good way to make friends and widen your social circle is to join a group of people who share an interest of yours. If those groups contain men and women, that’s even better.
The other thing you could do is go online and meet girls that way. This may not lead to a relationship, but you might make some female friends. If it is rare for sexes to mix in your culture, this would be a great solution for you. Interpals is a really good site for friendships, with people of all ages from all over the world.
www.interpals.net
I have to admit that my culture is probably quite different to yours, and that makes your question a hard one to answer. However, I hope some of these ideas help you. The most important thing, though, is remember not to worry. You are still young.
I wish you all the very best.
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