A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: HeyHow can i walk away from a relationship thats broke down and is unfixable or isnt getting any better even though it kills me to think i wont be with him anymore coz i am absolutley madly inlove with him?Any help will be very appretiatedThank you Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, zebralove +, writes (8 June 2011):
Stay busy you will see it will pass. We have ALL been there and will againe. xox
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys A done exactly that A feel like total crap though but a suppose alot of ice cream and movies n nights out will sort me outThanks again
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 June 2011):
it sucks totally. if you know you can't fix this you need to go NO CONTACT.
in my world we allow SIX WEEKS of mourning then on with your life... so six weeks of eating ice cream and crying and wailing about him... then off you go with the girlfriends making a life...
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A
female
reader, zebralove +, writes (7 June 2011):
You need to cut all contact with him and focus on other things like hobbies, friends, family.. Try to keep yourself busy because letting go will be hard but its the best thing to do.
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A
female
reader, totty-flossy +, writes (7 June 2011):
This is one of the worst situations to be in because your heart is telling you one thing whilst your head is telling you another! You love him with all your heart but you know deep down that the relationship is beyond repair and that it just wont last!
You know deep down if this relationship is fixable or not and if it truly isn't then its time to walk away!
This isn't going to be easy and your going to have to have alot of will power not to keep going back to him!
If your serious about ending it you need to accept that it is going to hurt and you will probably feel heart broken for a good few months and its going to be really hard and you will miss him alot!
The best thing to do it so admit to him exactly how you feel and ask him not to contact you when you break up because believe me keeping in contact will only make it harder and i know this from experience! You just cannot get over someone when you constantly talk or see each other, even if its just "as friends"
You would need to delete his number and anything to do with him and ask him to do the same. When he calls or texts, ignore him or just text him back explaining that you find it too difficult to speak to him right now and that you don't want him to call again... This wont be easy and your going to feel like there is a hole in your life were something is missing (this is like breaking a habit) Find something to fill that hole like a hobby, the gym, a night job (which will also get you a bit of extra money for a bit of retail therapy on the weekends!!)
Your being very brave and mature by admitting that you need to end it! And just because it hasn't worked doesn't make either of you bad people or even mean that either of you did anything wrong, it just means that you are people who love each other but who are just not right together like they used to be any more!
Let yourself cry and be sad for a couple of weeks, because bottling it up wont help, but try not to mope for too long because you will just make yourself miserable! look at is as a new beginning rather than an ending! Surround yourself with friends and family and enjoy their company, concentrate on your work and make sure you get out the house because staying in all the time will only make you feel lonely and your mind will wonder back to him and you will be more tempted to give in and go back to him!
Hope this helps! :) xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2011): Hm, that's a hard question, but I've been there.
My ex broke my heart so many times, and once he had to move to another city and we had less contact, my mind cleared up and I realized I needed to leave while I could. As messed up as it sounds, I broke up with him the night he came back when he knew I was about to end it (as opposed to HIM ending it like he did so many times to me).
Anyway, you just have to stand firm in your decision. Cut ALL contact or it won't work. If you keep in any sort of contact (even just having their phone number or facebook, even if you don't contact them), it will only elongate the healing period. I was lucky enough for my ex to cut all contact, so I had no choice, and I was able to get over him much faster thanks to him. However, if your boyfriend will not be the type to do so, you have to.
I hope you also have supporters who will be there for you and help you stay firm in your decision so you don't crawl back to an irreparable relationship. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2011): Why is it unfixable and broken down? When you still in love with this guy. More explanation would be help
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