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How do you trust a cheater?

Tagged as: Cheating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 September 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 27 September 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

How long does it take to get over and trust the person you are with if they cheated on you? My bf told me he cheated in the first and second month of our relationship. I told him things arnt gonna get better over night even though he wants it to. When are you supposed to get over some thing like this? Thanks in advance.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010):

Thats an obvious sign he just isnt ready for a exclusive relationship and still wants to date and test the waters therefore it may be imprudent to proceed with your relationship. Good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010):

OK well you can have comfort in knowing he told you, because hes all about you now and a quote I heard one is:

"The stupid forgive and forget

The naive neither forgive nor forget

And the wise forgive, but never forget"

Cheating is impulsive and for him to tell you says a lot, trust won't come easy, but don't make life and your relationship suffer because you can't get over, because he could've never told you!

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A female reader, Napalm_Angelripper Canada +, writes (27 September 2010):

Napalm_Angelripper agony auntYou don't. Plain and simple.

This MIGHT be a different issue if you guys were together for, say, oh I dunno, 10+ years and there was something your partner felt was lacking. Even then, that doesn't ever justify cheating, but it might merit some leniancy depending on your personality and his 'reasonings' for it.

The first few months of a relationship are supposed to be the most carefree and fun. If he's been unfaithful that soon, then he's just not the type of guy to remain faithful, at least not now.

Although, I'm wondering, how long have you guys been together for?

Best of luck to ya,

-The Resident Metalhead

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A female reader, fi_the_tree United Kingdom +, writes (27 September 2010):

fi_the_tree agony auntYou can only get over this when he starts proving to you that you can actually trust him again!!!! That he's not gonna do it again!!!

If he can't manage this, or you don't feel like you can ever trust him again, then there is no relationship. Might not be what you want to hear, but you have to take this into consideration...

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