A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I slept with a new man the other night--in our texts he kept telling me about all the things he would do, oral, etc. But in reality we had intercourse twice, and I sucked him off for a while. But not once did he try to go down on me or please me or even ask whether I had an orgasm. And I couldn't find a good opportunity to bring it up or show him what I wanted. So I ended up being very angry and frustrated. he was basically just a selfish lover, but I'm sure he thought he was fine.I KNOW I should have said something, but there is NO polite way to tell a guy you haven't cum, or that you're upset that he didn't even TRY to make an effort to please you. If he had at least asked me about it, it would have given me the opening for the conversation. But he didn't.So HOW do you tell a guy you haven't had an orgasm, and that you want to have one, without the guy seeing it as a criticism and getting offended?
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male
reader, quarky  +, writes (15 July 2009):
 Or you can bring him off then say 'it's my turn'. Or ask him to do the things he said he would in his text. He'll hopefully get the hint...Or it could be he's waiting for you to ask him too-some guys are incredibly thick sometimes and need to hear it straight!
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (15 July 2009):
 Why is it easier for you to tell all of us you haven't cum than it is to tell your partner? Just start off by, "I want you to __________________" Don't keep quiet, and just let what ever happens happen. Take control of your satisfaction, and direct what you want to be done.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): Like you say, he was selfish. All mouth and trousers. As he was selfish there's no need for you not to be! If there's a next time ask 'Is that it?'
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