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male
age
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*ob58x
writes:Am told I'm a nice looking (60 yo) guy. I still workout daily. Wife and I separated several years ago and soon will make it a formal divorce. I am interested in a FWB relationship with a younger woman (30s, 40s or 50s). I am pretty shy and not looking for a quickee. The "Friend" part is just as important as the benefits part. Where and how would that be pursued?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2017): My my, dear sir! So you're a mature gentleman of 60 looking for sex without strings attached, with women half your age?
I think you can rule-out the women in their 40s and 50s. Most of the women in that age-group have had it with men and their commitment-phobia and boyish games. I don't think they were on top of your list anyway, you threw them in there for political-correctness.
Ladies in their 30's are searching for men who are ready to settle-down, start a family, and will still be alive by the time their kids start high school.
If you are financially-comfortable or wealthy; you'll have to weed your way through a meadow of gold-diggers and lady-players. You can go on hookup sites, if you believe you can find a lady who is comfortable with a man your age; and only looking for a sex-buddy.
Unless your Amer-express card is a Centurion card; you may be a little long in the tooth or past your prime for the ladies in their 30's.
The inevitable problem will be, someone will catch feelings.
Human emotions are unpredictable. The heart doesn't always stick to the script, and there are far too many scam-artists out there looking for guys like you.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 September 2017):
 Unless you are rich and you want to attract a gold digger I would imagine that your chances are slim. Most women who are that age want to have someone who cares about them not just to have sex with them and be a friend. Good luck searching but I would imagine it will be hard especially when women seem to have a better chance off getting a younger man for friends with benefits.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 September 2017):
 TBH I don't think you are very marketable at least for the specific thing you have in mind.
I doubt there would be many women volunteering for an FWB with a man 15 or 20 or 30 years their senior.
FWBS are always sort of a melancholic thing for women, who, very often, more than looking for one, just get themselves stuck in one, in the naive expectation to change things, in time,into a serious relationship. FWB is generally sort of a lesser evil for women who'd want a partner , or THAT partner, but for some reason can't get him. It's a make-do thing, so they may find themselves in one, but seldom set out to look for it.
Now- women are no angels and we aren't in the 19th cebtury anymore. I know plenty of women that at some stage in their life decide, CHOOSE to practice recreational sex , just for the heck of it, no strings attached.
But that's the thing you see,? if there has to be no love, no committment, no exclusivity, no long term...if it has to be just , or mostly, a physical relation , then it'better be real fun and real HOT. Like,the hot young lifeguard at the pool. The burly bouncer at the club. The exotic waiter at the vacation resort which you'll never visit again. All those people who for various reasons would not make boyfriend material, but get the juices flowing at a superficial, un-emotional level.
I can see very well , say, an early 40 divorcee' taking a sabbatical from serious relationships- but I feel pretty sure that , in case , she'd be much more into having casual sex with that yummy 27 y.o. bartender- than with a shy, " nice looking " gentleman in his 60's.
Anyway, you can always try, it's not as if you have anything to lose. I think in cases like yours the venue par excellence is dating , and casual encounters , sites. Just be honest, say exactly what you want and what you can offer, and tell them what you told us, that, while ,for reasons of yours, you are not ready / available for a real relationship, you want to share more than a bed , and you take as seriously the Friend part as the Benefits one. See what happens, one may never know.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2017): That's pretty selfish of you, isn't it?Think about it.What kind of a woman wants to be some senior citizen's free prostitute?Do you think it's all that simple?Think again.Women have feelings. Emotions. Expectations. Aspirations for a relationship. To be in love.You might be able to nab one for a brief period while the sex is new. But once the sex wears thin, youwill need a lot more to hold onto her. If she gets attached, and most do, your FWB which benefits mostly YOU is going to blow up in your face. You will need to keep searching for replacement after replacement. How satisfying is that? I don't get it? You aren't some inexperienced, horny teenager. Most people are settled and mature by your age and choose more committed, long term and evolved relationships with an equal. Why not save dating for when you are ready? Instead of trying to shop for women to get your rocks off?It seems to me you're a bit entitled and have an ego to expect to have your choice of women. News flash: You will see that it ain't that easy to find women in their 30s or 40s who are into men that much older unless you still got some serious GAME or CASH or BOTH.Sorry to burst the bubble you are living in but I am telling the truth. And you need to hear it cause you appear rather naive or oblivious. FWB is a very degrading, demeaning arrangement for women. It is all set up in a man's favour from the start. Why? Cause men can control their emotions and while some women may claim they can, that won't last for long. Women for the most part get attached after sex. We were designed this way. Women who agree to FWB will sometimes do it cause she already has feelings for a man. Not for the sex itself. Mechanical sex just to get off just doesn't appeal to most women the way it does to men. Men have a biological drive to get off. Just know it's so much more complicated than you know. Once women's emotions enter the picture, it's game over for you. Either committ or move along to another sex toy. Who, in the beginning, is shiny new, just like the one before her, and in time, she, too, will start to become disillusioned. The pattern will repeat over and over. And you will end up all alone in the world. Lonely, miserable and celibate. At your age, that is rather sad. Don't use women for sex. It is cruel. Even if they agree, they are setting themselves up to get hurt. Men and women are built differently.Why not pay for it? So many options out there where you can get off and it's a business transaction rather than hurting another person for your own self gratification.
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