A
female
age
36-40,
*reenfocus
writes:I have been seeing a guy about a month and a half now. Everything has been going good. He keeps telling me how awesome I am and when we first starting seeing each other couldn't believe that I wasn't taken already. He is also a very shy person. I was just wondering what things I can do to show him that I am ready for the next step (as in a relationship) and what things will he be doing to show him he is ready for the next step as well. On the other hand, what are some signs that he is not interested in going on to the next step.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): You have to just make sure youse are both ready for a relationship.. I was in the exact same was as you at the start of my relationship and when I mentioned it to him we got into a relationship and we were completely inlove for the first few months then around 5 and a half months later he finished me and when we tried to talk he said we rushed in to fast to the relaionship and now he won't even look at me or anything and it's really devistating . Just wait a little while until he mentions it or until you feel that it's exactly what yous need :).. Good luck and hope you find the right thing to do
A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (21 February 2010):
 What's your definition of the next step? A BF/GF relationship perhaps?
To some, a month and a half is not long (it's only 6 weeks when you think about it) and some guys take longer to decide where things are going. But, having said that, I think that most of us know within that first month what we want.
I would advise you against asking him directly. If things are going well, and he cares about you and is otherwise not giving you reason to think otherwise, then all should be fine. Sometimes guys even just assume you're at the next step and don't see the need to announce it.
So, questions to ask yourself:
How often do you see each other?
Are you in contact between dates?
Does he invite you/plan for things that are months in advance?
Does he act like your BF?
Have you met his friends? His parents/family members?
I think when a guy starts including you in his life and starts planning future events with you, you can rest assured he sees you as his GF. It might not always be true but generally it is.
As to what you can do? Nothing much really...keep doing what you've been doing...he's with you because he likes you so far, there's no need to change. To see where his intentions are you could always ask a sneaky question, asking him to an event months down the track...his answer should tell you how sure he is of sticking around.
If I could give you any advice I would say to take it easy, don't push things and enjoy your time with him. Look after yourself and make sure you come first.
Best of luck :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): What is the "next step"?
You mean you want sex? Just make out with him and start undressing him and I am sure he will understand? Or do you mean you want to move in with him, which could be a little too soon by anyone's standards. But who am I to speak, I once moved in with a (now ex-) bf after just one month.
Im unsure what you mean by next step to be honest, I've never thought about relationships in terms of steps. Just do what you feel like doing and see if he wants it too?
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A
female
reader, Cosmicimpulse  +, writes (21 February 2010):
 Now you are in the best part of a relationship, you know when it starts of all nice and getting to know each other? eeek jealous :),
anyway, seeing as he is a shy guy he could not think that you are interested in him, therefore he wouldnt ask to get serious, you have many options in this case to either, come out with it and tell him that you want to get serious, ask him out yourself or just hint it proper.
You can do this by asking him to go out to a resturant with you, to the cinema or even to meet your parents! and when you introduce him call him your boyfriend! now that depends if your a person who doesnt care about being awkward, otherwise stick with telling him how much you like him and inviting him to your place and maybe invite him to stay over the night, because if you two do get down to some midnight business then it would steer in a certain direction ;).
If he was not interested then he would slowly stop talking to you and telling you how amazing you are ect. he would make it as obvious as possible with out being harsh.
Good luck, keep me posted on how things go :D x
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): When the moment is right you should discuss it with him instead of trying to show him. I believe that matters like this are worth being up front about.
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