A
female
age
36-40,
*ealbaby3
writes:How do you regain trust after someone has smashed it with a jackhamer?.... aka my bf of almost 3 years slept with my best friend of over 10 years. I feel very traumatized by the whole thing, and I had trust issues before this all happened. I think I may be damaged to the point where I am too fucked up to have a relationship. Are there guys that will deal with this/understand if I ever DO date again or will I destroy every relationship that I'm in? Why would anyone want to date anyone that can't trust them? OH god...... I'm gonna be single and alone forever hahaha.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2009): You are doing great already! Laugh at the situation! Of course you will love again! Just because these people were jerks doesnt mean everyone in the world is! And when you are ready to trust again, or you find that someone who will make you trust again, you just have to close your eyes and dive in! You might get hurt again, but you might also find true love! And that is worth taking risks for!
Just take your time now, heal and get over it. You'll come out on the other end alright! Things could always be worse, and bad as that might sound, it's a comforting thought at times. You are alive, you have other friends, I bet plenty of great things in your life! You'll be fine. Time heals all wounds if you let them grow!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 November 2009):
You aren't that f***** up at all, and don't think it. Right now I'm sure you're feeling terrible, and I don't blame you. First of all, I hope you've ended things with your boyfriend and best friend. You'll never be able to trust them again, and really I don't think you need them in your life.
There are guys out there who will understand how you feel, because they've been there (I have, no doubt plenty of others on this site have as well). But they'll all tell you the same thing. You will find someone better. You now need to focus on yourself for a while, build up all that confidence and when you find a guy you like, take it slow and explain to him how you feel, and he will understand. You will be able to love and trust again, but it will take time. All the best.
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